Risk vs. Reward

Look at me… A banana peel could do me in at any time!

- Professor about why he shouldn’t invest as aggressively as he does

Chocolate - It's For Dudes Too

You get to a certain time in the day when you need to drown your sorrows in chocolate.

- Steffan Freckleton

Reverse Psychology

Chloe:  How does reverse psychology work on teams?
Christian:  I don't want to alarm you, but I've been using it on the four of you since we started.

- Chloe Andersen & Christian Nielson

It's Just A Flesh Wound

She's in a bad situation, but she's not dead yet.

- Professor explaining why a character's poor decision still has value

Evil Empire

Where’s the president?  Who’s the president of the this section?  Why don’t you call on someone to give us the answer.  By the way, I am the emperor of this section, just so we’re clear.

- Professor

Two Words

No, it’s an op-tion.  Two words: op. tion.

- Professor

It's Raining (Hot) Men

You may wonder what “hot men” syndrome is…..I will tell you.

- Erin Page

Nunchuk Skills, Excel Skills...

Either you’re an Excel ninja, or you’re not.

- Curtis Heyman

The Creative Process

I always thought the marketers were the ones tripping on acid to come up with new ideas.

- Greg Lee

Clever...

"You don't get to the ah-ha until you have the ha-ha in front of it."

- Professor, on laddering

Busta Rhymes

(In reference to "not biting the hand that feeds" or "don't kill the golden goose"...)

"Make peace, don't kill geese. Ha hahahah. I just came up with that on my own! Pretty good for 10:30 in the morning!"

- Professor

Keep The Commandments...

"If tomorrow we all woke up and obeyed all of the commandments the country would be in a 20-year depression."

- Tim Hart, referring to counsel from church leaders to save money and get out of debt

Give & Take

Justin Andersen (Chloe's brother) to Chloe: "Hey, it's give & take. You watch our kids. We give you a bunch of stuff we didn't pay for."

- Justin Andersen

B(N)O

Nathan: "You know GNO's (Girls Night Out)?? Well this is a BNO (Boy's Night Out)..." (Referring to the guys who came to cheer)

 

Kate: "Yeah... AT the GNO..."

 

- Nathan Child and Kate Lindsay at the Women's Flag Football Game

Too Much Disney

Janessa: Why in the world are you speaking squirrel?
Jennia: At least I'm not speaking whale!

- Janessa Cloward, Jennia Parkin

Parenting Advice

Jason: "I have six kids; one's a piece of cake."

Chris: "One's a piece of cake once you have six."

- Jason Merrill & Chris Kellett

Sir Talks-A-Lot

Professor: "We haven't heard enough from Oliver today."

Oliver: "I don't think I've heard that phrase before."

- Oliver Christensen & Professor

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Ryan Wilson: "You don't respect any of my opinions."
Brian Henderson: "When I listen to them, I do."

- Ryan Wilson & Brian Henderson

Scorekeepers

MBA students don’t just keep score, they negotiate it.

- Professor

"Hands-On" Experience

It was very open and touchy-feely, and it made me feel icky.

- Brian Henderson

Mother-in-law, Round 2

We kicked my mother-in-law out.

- Jason Merrill

What Gets Measured Gets Improved

Cromwell: "I  have 3 comments to make..."

(6 minutes later)

Kyle Freebairn: "I actually have 7 comments to make...no, it's really just 4. I wanted to give 3 to Cromwell."


- Kyle Freebairn & Cromwell Wong

He's The Master of Analogies

It's like we're dealing with communication vegetables... what do we do?...ah....we can't communicate!

- Kyle Freebairn

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

(discussing the leadership case)

Kim: "He could take the promotion so that he makes more money. That way [his wife] gets more money [in the divorce settlement], and then she can marry the hot young architect at the firm."

Julina: "Well did you hear, it might not even be his baby?"

- Kim Wilber & Julina Manning

I'm A Soul Man

I'm dying in accounting.  Each time I go there I feel my soul wither.

- James Core

Average It Out

The problem with average is that it's like I've got my head in the freezer and my feet in the oven, but on average I'm just about right.

- Professor

Teamwork

I'll be your fingers; you be my head.

- Professor

Unsportsmanlike Conduct

On the trade-off between character and success for the football team:

 

"If we build great character, and have a good to mediocre team, then we are Ricks...and then we become BYU-Idaho."
 

- Professor

20, 20, 24 Hours To Go...I Wanna Be Sedated

♫ I want to be sedated.  Please, someone sedate me now.

 

- Erin Page, gchat status

Playing Hard To Get

For millions of dollars a naked man can chase me all day long.

- David Chung, referring to the male fan who kissed (attacked) a shirtless Rafael Nadal following a tennis match

Outports?

He analyzed our imports as well as our outports... wait..."

- Professor

The Big Easy

Headin' to N'awlins for the National Black MBA Job Fair. It'll be a lot like Mardi Gras, except we'll be in suits and ties and instead of dancing on Bourbon Street, and instead of eating great food we'll be breaking a sweat trying to answer questions correctly in job interviews. But other than that, just like Mardi Gras!

- Curtis Heyman, gchat status

True Love

You are everything to me.

- Professor to Craig Anderson

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

The Boolean function in Excel really is an elegant little structure.

(later)

A new interface that can make pivot tables out of cost structure data is very sexy.

- Professor

The Plague

By the way, don’t come too close to me because I’ve got…who knows what.  I think it’s bubonic plague.

- Professor

It's A Common Expression

That test is going to be a walk in the freaking cake.

- Mathew Harrison

Time Value of Money Proves That Women Are Worth More Than Men

Janessa: What do we do if we want to quit our grown up MBA jobs and raise babies?

Malorie: I guess we just put 0 [into the calculation] for some years.

Janessa: Lame. Oh well. We're still worth more than most of the men in this room because we're so much younger.

- Janessa Cloward & Malorie Lewis

The Dew

♫ I wonder if Sheri Dew hates the Mountain Dew slogan.

 

- Brian Henderson, gchat status

Mommy & MAcc

Professor: The last time you went into a store and bought a jacket, why didn't you ask the cashier what the debt to equity ratio was of the company that made the jacket?

MAcc Student: Probably because my mom was buying it for me.

Renaissance Man

Rand: That's what makes me the Renaissance Man.  I'm everywhere.

Professor: Yeah.  You're everywhere, but nowhere.

- Rand Blair & Professor

Chief Squish Officer

“Squish” is a very important finance term.

- Professor

Sleeping With Da Fishes

It's too bad employers can't ask about my National Origins. I think I might have a distinct advantage over other applicants if the interviewer knew I had some cement shoes in the back of my car if I didn't get the job.

- Pete Faleschini, gchat status

Criminal Masterminds

A very interesting thing about criminals - they don't read.

- Professor

Hmmm....

Carly: Have you ever proposed to someone while sitting on them?

Ray: No, but there's a first time for everything.

- Carly Pedersen, Ray Kearney

Obesity - The New American Dream

MMMM…This website makes me want to be obese!

(referring to www.smittenkitchen.com)

- Janessa Cloward

Read My Lips, No New (Fat) Taxes

Us fatties have to band together to eradicate this so called “fat tax” on the football t-shirts in the bookstore.

- Oliver Christensen

They Even Have The Same Accent

The bear is a symbol for California and the USSR. They have a lot in common, actually.

- Professor

Whole Lotta Love

"You're gettin' cozy dude. Good thing Oliver's not in here. I don't know if there's enough love for him."

- Josh Kruse

Rand Blair's Awesome Hair

Ok, so I know this isn't a quote, but I have to do this in response to Rand's amazing article.  So which hairstyle should Rand adopt to complete his transformation into a true marketer?  Answer in the poll to the right!

The Anthony Michael Hall

The Joe Dirt

The George McFly

The John Lennon

The Bob Ross

Level 5

"Is she applauding herself over there? We've got to work on the Level 5 Leadership."

- Professor, referring to Emily Tanner after she gave a correct answer

Smart Phone vs. Smart Man

"I love my man like I love my blackberry--explorable, portable, and talkable."

- Shan Huo

Who's the Boss?

"All I have to say is, I wear the pants in the family. She just tells me which ones to put on."

- Justin Andersen

Mr. Personality

"Personality is a tricky thing. Too little personality and you work in finance and end up being the guy that turns the lights off at night.  Too much and you run the risk of entering what I call the HR-Kum-ba-ya-danger zone."

- Rand Blair, MBA Newsletter

OMG BFF LOL

"DUI is bad, but there's an even worse phenomenon now - DWI: Driving While InTEXTicated."

- Professor

Sexy Thang

"I know ladders can seem mundane, but they can be pretty sexy when you've been scared up there."

- Professor

Mo' Money

(referring to Hal Wing - local millionaire)

"He's made a cur-bundle of money.  He's like Jay Leno.  He's got the biggest house in Springville."

- Professor

Tickle Me Emo

"Have you guys seen the Tickle Me Emo doll?  It says, 'I cut myself to know that I'm alive.'"

- Professor

O Canada

Andrew:  "If you brought a Chex Mix Stanley Cup to a party, you'd be the man."

Oliver:  "Says the Canadian."

- Andrew Ray & Oliver Christensen

No Pain, No Gain

(Referring to Allison's 24 Dates in 24 Days)
 

Rand: "So what you're doing is kind of like slow speed dating?"

Allison: "Yeah, but more intense and painful."

- Rand Blair & Allison Clements

Seriously, You Had To Be There

"Viva le Dinnerables!"

- Jim Fowler

Mr. Nasty

"We're gonna call Wes 'Mr. Nasty' now.  He's the king of nasty."

- Professor, referring to Wes Harris

Self-Awareness

"I didn't know I was the devil."

- Wes Harris

Capitalism (Not Love) Conquers All

Capitalist Pigs 41, other team 0 (flag football)

- Matt Schultz, facebook status

The Man Code - Article 1

"So apparently there's some man-code that when you share a bed with another dude, you can't face them.  My side hurt, and if I laid on my back then I snored, so I had to sleep facing him.  It was sort of a negotiation in the middle of the night."

- Moroni Schwab

I Heart Objects

"I just have a crush on Erin's outfit.  I have a thing for inanimate objects.  See my shirt [which reads] 'My music is my boyfriend.'"

- Carly Pedersen

If You Can't Stand the Heat...

(While roasting marshmallows)
"Why is this fire so hot?"

- Allison Clements

Are You Gellin'?

"The men in the MBA program have an infatuation with styling gel, and it is highly inappropriate."

- Erin Page

Out For Blood

"This isn't Relief Society. You're not trying to coddle the girl - you're trying to kill her."

- Coach Nathan Child to the women's flag football team

Erin Brockovich

"When I was negotiating with Chloe, I felt like Erin Brockovich.  I thought she was going to crush my hopes and dreams.

- Brian Henderson

Your Mom

Professor: "Should I call you David or Dave?"
Dave Harper: "It depends on if you are my mom."

- Dave Harper & Professor

SG Cowen

“My HR case solution: Fire everyone. Liquidate company. Slit wrists.”

- Erik Rasmussen, gchat status

Got Milk?

"If you milk the cow, you are a farmer. If you shoot the cow, you are a rancher."

- Professor

Naiveté

“We really are naïve if we’re honest with ourselves...we could get our pants taken down and spanked hard in the real world."

- Professor

Cheesy Chocolate

Professor: (talking about Kraft acquiring Cadbury) "You know what this means."
Nate: "They're gonna put cheese in chocolate eggs."

- Professor and Nate Taylor

Who Says 'Hard Boiled Old Owl' Anymore?

“I heard a few students in the hall who commented that I’m a ‘hard boiled old owl’.”

- Professor

Moses & Aaron

"I'm like Moses, and he's like Aaron.  He speaks for me."

- Brian Henderson referring to Chris Kellett

Ageism

♫ "Isn't there an age limit for intramurals?"

- Our Freshman Flag Football Opponents

She's Great With Kids

"I would also like to clarify my last statement of 'I hate the children.' What I meant to say was, I love the children, but I hate their appetites for gourmet macaroni.

- Erin Page

I Can't Get No...Satisfaction

"You are not giving me any satisfaction."

- Andrea Cordani to Jennia Parkin

Gotta Love Ops

"Operations isn't my strength because I feel weaker after doing it."

- Sabrina Chew

Madden

"What happens is sort of this John Madden thing...BOOM!!!"

- Professor, 9.9.09

Ouch!

Professor: "What's a high-value activity in the MBA program?"
Class: "Networking."

Professor: "Right.  And what's a low-value activity?"
Class: "Sitting in class."

- Professor

Fun & Games

"3D can make tic-tac-toe really interesting."

- Professor, 9.8.09

Key Performance Indicators

"Moab was a big success.  Although I was unable to attend, I know it was a success because there were dozens of photos of women in the program jumping in the air at the same time, which is a key success metric of any road trip."

- Rand Blair, 9.8.09

Dead Man Walking

"I like Coach Knight's style, but he touches me in the throat...he's a dead man!"

- Tyson Woodruff, 9.8.09

World Peace

"You hate orange?  Orange is the international color of peace.  Do you hate peace?"

- Dustin Cook, 9.8.09

Boxers or Briefs?

Heather: "Does anyone know what a creative brief is?"

David: "Unusual underwear?"
 
- David Moss & Heather Archibald, 9.3.09

If You Got A Problem...Yo, I'll Solve It

(Referring to Dr. Dean)

Brent: "He's ISYS, baby."

Chloe: "Are you really making a song reference?"

Steffan: (rapping) "Vanilla IS-YS, baby."

- Brent Walker, Steffan Freckleton & Chloe Andersen, 9.4.09

You Had to Be There

"Let me give a plug to JC..."

- Brent Christenson, 2nd semester

Analyze This

"I'm not sure how much more of this analytical thinking stuff I can take."

- Tara Hair, 9.4.09

Mother-in-law

"My mother-in-law is currently living with us in our basement.  I want to get her out."

- Jason Merrill, 9.4.09

Bromance

Mike: "We were a bunch of guys in there together all half-naked."

Christian: "Which half?"

- Mike Baer & Christian Nielson, 9.4.09

Raising Arizona

Kent: "I'm from Flagstaff."

Professor: "I'm from Arizona too - from Tempe."

Kent: "Well, Flagstaff is the nice part of Arizona."

- Kent Ferguson, 9.4.09

Managing Salvation

"If you can't manage $100, you can't handle the celestial kingdom."

- Cromwell Wong, 9.3.03

Getting Old

"I just bought a 1998 Buick Park Avenue and increased my effective age 300%."

- Kyle Freebairn, gchat status

Beautiful Eyes

"I have puke green eyes...
You're hot. What's wrong with your eyes?"

- Ryan Wilson, 9.3.09

Donuts or Steaks?

(Someone's phone rings in class)
Class: "Donuts!"
Mathew: "Steaks."

- Mathew Harrison, 9.3.09

Optimism

(In relation to the BYU-OU game)
"I'm cautiously semi-optimistic."

- Ryan Wilson, 9.3.09

Beer at BYU?

"I'm not Michelob, not the cheap stuff. I buy a lot of beer for clients."

- Tim Hart, 9.3.09

Personal Confessions

"I have a lot of personal confessions..."

- Emily Tanner, 9.3.09

Mathew's Policies

"I have a policy. I don't do any reading before the first day of class, and I don't do any homework on my birthday."

- Mathew Harrison, 9.3.09

Homage to Kellett

Professor: "Rustin's been very patient, yet aggressive, in a very laid back kind of way."

Rustin: "This is how I sit in class."

- Rustin Fullmer, 9.3.09

Road Trip Potty Break

Thamina: "My car will make it all the way to Vegas."

Kate: "I'm not going to make it to Vegas without having to stop to use the bathroom."

Thamina: "You'll have to learn."

Kate: "I'm not going to learn in a day. You should have told me this months ago so I could start practicing."

- Thamina Christensen & Kate Lindsay, 9.3.09

Illegal Seat

"I'm sorry. That is an illegal seat."
(Later)
"Now I'm illegal!"

- Professor, 9.3.09

Corporate Finance

Adam: "Corporate finance - a room full of underachievers."

Kyle: "Yeah, it's like a root canal every day of your life."

- Adam Larsen & Kyle Freebairn, 9.3.09

I Hate You

"Some of you, ah...ah...have told me...ah...that you think I don't
like some of you. I just want you to know that's absolutely not true. I hate all of you the same."

- Professor

Old Man

"This guy comes across as an old man afraid to use a VCR."

- Jeremy Kearly, 9.3.09

Google

(referring to Dr. Rhoads' youth)
"I don't think Google goes back that far."

- Cody Campbell, 9.2.09

Sitting

"This is just how I sit in class."

- Chris Kellett, 9.1.09

Walmart

"Walmart's gonna eat your lunch for breakfast!"

- Professor