Marriott School Idol

Chris Fisher:  That's awesome!  You are my idol.

 

Carly Pedersen: Uh...that's unfortunate.  You should get a new idol.

 

Dave Wood:  Ok, will you be my graven image instead?

Jerky Boys

Professor: Wow what did you think about Brandon's presentation?

Tyson Woodruff: He kind of came off as a jerk.

Greg Lee: I liked it.

Professor in reference to Greg's comment:  Well you know, jerks like jerks.

Oh Yeah!

I'm just a love machine!

- Professor

Dirrty

(In speaking to a group of older, single women.)

Wait, how old are we?  We are all in dire need of dirty.

- Kristan Brooks

What can go wrong at Wymount?

(Regarding checking on their four kids, who were home during the NAC event.)

Esther Liddicoat: We should probably get home.

Brian Henderson: Are your kids babysitting each other?

Esther: Yeahhhh. Well, we've got a ten year old, and neighbor kids are helping. You know, making sure there are no fights.

 

David Liddicoat: What can go wrong at Wymount? She's mature. She's ten and a half.

The Midas Touch

(After hearing that Kyle Freebairn's team took first in the Idea Pitch.)
 
Man, Kyle succeeds at everything he does.  Everything he touches turns to gold...(pause)...I need him to touch me...

- Mathew Harrison

Are you ready for some Football?

I am gitty for FOOTBALL!

- Chris Brasher

Dictionary.com.

- gitty: n, in the UK, an alleyway (slang)

Tough Questions

Professor:  You're in your groups, right?  Paul, what group are you in?

Paul Winterowd:  Uhhh....

Nobody's Perfect

My wife is blessed with the gift of a critical eye.  I wouldn't know all my imperfections if it wasn't for her.  I would think that I was ready to be exalted.  She just wants to be helpful!

- Professor

Chinese Saying: Pai Ma Pi

It means, "Pat the horse's bottom"...or as Shan would say, "Lick the horse's bottom."

- Professor

We Are All On Drugs

And sometimes, let me just say this, being delusional is like a drug and I’m really good at being delusional.

- Erin Page

Mo' Money

(After a rather lengthy discussion with the waitress regarding the size of the claws on the lobsters in the tank, Kyle asked the waitress at Red Lobster a very important question.)

Kyle Freebairn:  "If you had just won $10,000 in a competition, and you came to Red Lobster to celebrate, what would you order?"

 

Rand Blair: "Let's be clear, Kyle.  You won one-third of $10,000."

 

Kyle: "True.  (to waitress) Still, if you had just won your share of $10,000 in a waitressing competition, what would you order?"

 

Waitress: "That's hard.  There are actually three things I would choose."

 

Rand: "That seems like a lot of food."

 

Kyle: "Hmm....Well, we did win $10,000 -- so just give me all three and I will eat one and we can throw the other two away."

No, We're Never Gonna Survive Unless We Get A Little Crazy

Anybody who wants to come into my office and bite their fingers until they bleed...they get any grade they want...cause that's frickin crazy!

- Professor

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

It's a terrible burden that we carry.

- Professor, talking about his PhD and the expectations that come with it

Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself

Sometimes my biggest pet peeve is other people - that they exist.

- Jesse Carman

Heaton Beatin'

(after a particularly raucous class session)

 

Oliver Christensen: So, have you decided that you want to come to BYU after visiting class today?

 

Prospective Student: I'm not as scared any more...it's not as serious as I was thinking it would be.

 

Emily Tanner: Well, this class isn't very representative. You should attend a finance class.

 

Oliver: He needs to experience the Heaton Beatin'.

 

Chloe Andersen: Any interest in attending Advanced Corporate Finance?

Prospective Student: Not if I'm going to walk out sucking my thumb.

Spoonman

(Comparing Spoon Me to Pioneer Electronics)

Instead of having a t-shirt that said "spoon me," they could have a shirt that said "pioneer me."

- Professor

She Blinded Me With Science

I don't believe in the science behind vaccinations.

- Mathew Harrison

Honest Abe - Hot or Not?

Professor: What makes a good leader?

 

Jared Mackrory: Chloe said pretty.

 

Chloe Andersen: I was being facetious.

 

Jared: But I think there's something to that. When I think about the good leaders in my life, they have been tall and...

 

Christian Nielson: There's no one hotter than Abraham Lincoln.

Dr. He-Man

Julie Hulet: "I have a ruptured disk, and it's extremely painful."

Professor: "Yeah, I had 3 of those. The best thing I ever did for my back was when I started doing 1-2 thousand sit-ups per day."

And thus Lego Flu was born

Even as an old guy, I put my mouth on Legos.

- Nat Smith

I'm looking for a position as an HR Sniper

It's important in HR that you shoot the right people - it's highly motivational.

- Professor

He Goes By "Fil"

Professor:  The whole experience caused my son "Filbert" many years of frustration.

Greg Lee: I don't mean to be rude, but are you absolutely sure the cause of his problems wasn't your naming him "Filbert?"

This Is How They Trash Talk Down Under

Once I give Carlo the Tim Tam Slam, he will got all soft and it will be over.

- David Liddicoat

Brian Henderson, You're My Hero

Brian Henderson: "You should know that we are moving forward with this, building a mockup, and flying out to Indiana to start working on this, and you can all say you were here at the beginning."

Rustin Fullmer: "So lucky to be in Brian's aura."

70% Of The Time, I Read My Cases Every Time

Jamie Malone - "Oliver, how many cases have you read since you've been in B-school?"

 

Oliver Christensen - "Of 'X' which is the actual number, probably about 70%."

 

Professor - "I'm surprised it's actually that high!"

War and Peace has Vampires in it, right?

Not that Stephanie Meyer is any different than Tolstoy.

- Nicole Whitehead

Peace, Love, and Microwaved Salisbury Steak

(in reference to organic frozen entrees)

It tastes good if your home is a commune.

- Dallan Huff

Evidently Money CAN Buy Happiness

I can't wait until I'm independently wealthy.  Then I can be a complete nut case.

- Jared Mackrory

Let Me Push Back On Ya

Professor, realistically that doesn't make sense.

- Aki Mikimoto

Taken Out of Context - Best Quote of the Year

Grab your ankles and let's get started!

- Rodrigo Silva

I'm a Soul Man

I took an African drumming class at Dartmouth.

- Jason Merrill

Everyone's Favoriate Bingham Moment

"I won't ruin the surprise, but just bring extra underwear, because you might poo your pants in class today."

- Kenric Russell, regarding HR class today

gChat Conversation: Tim Tam Slammin'

David Liddicoat: "I'm so happy I can get Tim Tams in the States.  Let the Tim Tam Slamming begin!"

Brian Henderson: "I want to Slam the Tim TAM!"

Brandon Anderson: "Where I come from 'Slamming the Tim Tam' doesn't mean eating cookies."

MBA Dictionary: Mandate

We couldn't find anyone else to go to lunch with us, so Ken and I went on a man date.

- Brandon Anderson

I Wish They All Felt This Way

I'd rather be hit by a truck than grade papers.  A small truck anyway.

- Professor

This Year's Hot New Christmas Toy: Layoff Elmo

Laying off an entire office before Christmas is just rude.

- Janessa Cloward

Pure, Unadulterated Truth

Women are crazy.

- Allison Clements

Work-(Love)Life Balance

Nothing balances your life like the complete imbalance that comes from starting a relationship.

- Erik Rasmussen

Like Gummi Berries?

Brian Henderson: You should have told her to eat more Acai berries.

AnnMarie Dunn: Where did the magic berries come from?

Moroni Schwab: Brian loves magic fruit berries.

Uhhh...They're Called Parents

This product would be great for pet and kid owners!

- Mike Baer

I'm Bringin' Sackcloth Back

(Referring to the MBA program's poor networking to date)

We should all rend our clothing and walk in sackcloth & ashes.

- Brian Henderson

Soapbox Baby

Greg Lee:  I'll come down off my soapbox.

Oliver Christensen:  Have you ever come down from your soapbox?

 

Elisa Clements:  You were born on a soapbox.

True Friends Tell It Like It Is

Oliver Christensen: We went to lunch with your brother today.

 

Chloe Andersen: Really? How was it?

 

Ryan Wilson: I think I have a man-crush on him.

 

Ronell Hugh: Actually, I'm pretty sure I like him better than you.

 

Chloe: Most people do.  I even like him better than me.

 

Oliver: He's definitely nicer than you, but your strength isn't your niceness.

- Oliver Christensen, Ryan Wilson, Ronell Hugh, Chloe Andersen

Designer Genes

Professor: Ronell, you're somewhat unique.

Ronell Hugh:  What?

Professor: I mean - uh - you have a nice pair of jeans on.

He's A Little Confused

I love finance for that reason...because it's just like chemistry.

- Professor

Awww, They're So Cute

Rustin Fullmer: Millions of microscopic baby worms?

 

Corey Davis: Sounds like my mission.

Tapeworms are the new Atkins

Erin Page: A disease is a great way to lose weight.

 

Heather Archibald: Maybe we could sell tapeworms or infections or something.

 

Steve Sawaya: Sounds like a great business plan competition submission.

Thanks, NAFTA!

Mexico recently passed China in exporting goods to the U.S.  That probably includes drugs also.

- Professor

Dig A Pit For Thy Neighbor, There Is No Harm In This

Michael Esselman: "That's not ethical.  You set us up!"

 

Professor: "I set it up; you were just the one who fell in!"

Just In Case You Forgot That We're At BYU

Professor: "Is it ever right to push someone off the bridge, if it means you will save everyone on the train?"

 

Other Student: "It's better for one man to perish than for a whole nation to dwindle in unbelief."

 

Rand Blair: "I would definitely push Laban off the bridge."

She's A Really Sweet Girl, Though

Talk about a declining margin of value.  Baby daughter: Priceless.  15-year old daughter: I'll pay you to take her.

 

- Professor

So Now What Am I Supposed To Do On The Weekend?

"I have found ONE universal principle.  One should NOT torture children for fun."

 

- Professor

Longing for Mediocrity

Justin: "Yeah, there are a lot of overachievers in the program."

Paul: "I can't wait to be done with school and be back in the real world where I can be above average among mediocre people."

- Paul Winterowd, Justin Andersen

FCE is the new FHE - Family Costco Evening

You've got the lesson next Monday.

- Devan Raynor to Weston Pope at Costco after the Cores, Lowells, Fowlers, Jacksons, Christensens, Raynors, and Popes all ran into each other

Like A Fireplace Poker Or Hugh Jackman?

I would rather be beaten by something hard and hot than grade papers.

- Professor

Wait...I Thought It Was The Other Way Around

The campus is our world.

- Elisa Clements