Ethics Rockstar

(Upon being the first person to finish the ethics final)

I'm the most ethical person in here.  Take that, Greg Lee!

- Derek Muaina

West Virginia, Mountain Momma...Take Me Home, Country Roads

You know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia, because if it was invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

- Professor

Never Dissemble

Professor:  I decided to write him (Brandt Anderson, owner of Utah Flash) an email, but my wife said, "No, let's keep peace in the ward."  I wrote it anyway, and I told him about a website that would be very helpful to him.

 

Brian Hall:  Mormon.org?

Teleological or Deontological?

(In ethics class, after Kyle delivered a brilliant ethical insight:)

Professor: Wow! Someone did the reading for today.

 

Kyle: Yes.

Kyle (under his breath): ...uh...ethical dilemma here...

Kyle (out loud): No, I didn't.

Kyle (out loudER): Well, I read half of it, but I usually round up.

He's Very Gentle

I don't want to explain this, but I want the male nurse.

- Christian Nielson

Only In Utah

♫ "exquisite home teachers" = selling point on ad for condo in ladies restroom, 1st floor TNRB

 

- Allison Clements, gchat status

Blue Steel

Walkin' In A Winter Wonderland

(In reference to a group of undergrads walking out the door dressed in all out snow clothes.)

"Those poor undies. They're all bundled up to walk in the winter."

- Oliver Christensen

I'm Not Dead Yet

Julie Hulet: I feel like when Monty Python starts being quoted, group productivity goes down instantly.

Chloe Andersen: What are you going to do? Bleed on me?

And I Just Can't Get Enough

Julie Hulet: I hate that stupid quote blog.

Oliver Christensen: Why?

 

Julie: I don't get on it enough.

Apparently, Titles Aren't Important to Them

Sam Kearl: The title of our ethical case is "Close or Disclose."

Ethics class: --silence--

 

Sam: Catchy title, huh? I came up with it myself.

Can You Say, "Butt-Smart?"

(While studying quantifiable unknowns in finance:)

"Butt" is the universal quantifier.  If you say "that guy is butt-stupid," he's really stupid.

- Trevor Paulsen

I Want Money...That's What I Want

If you can't have anything else, at least make money.

- Stephen Jones

I'll Tell What I Want... What I Really Really Want

I really wanted the Spice Girl, but I'm still happy that I got this.

- Brittany Riggs

Who's the Boss?

(In Strategy class referring to the team that has both Kelletts.)

Greg Lee:  Is it true this is a family-run business?

Adam Wankier:  I heard someone was sleeping with the boss.

Chip Tycoon

Curtis Heyman:  Did you know that somebody found a Dorito shaped like Texas and eBay-ed it for like $1000?

Rustin Fullmer:  Dang!  I need to look more closely at my chips.

Denied!

(A group of MBAs walk into the elevator occupied by an undergraduate female.)

Ronell Hugh:  Look, a lady friend!

Oliver Christensen:  Nice to meet you.  What is your name?

Undergrad: Victoria.

Oliver:  I am Oliver and this is Ken, Mike, Dave, Paul, Ronell, and Ryan.

Undergrad:  I'm way too young for all of you.

We Can Dance If We Want To

Chloe Andersen: You've got glitter right by the corner of your eye.

Tim Lovell: I do? It's leftover from the interpretive dance I did this morning.

 

Sam Kearl: I don't feel like I know this team at all.

I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night

I've never been interested in Guitar Hero, but Polka Hero?  That's something I could get into.

- James Pearce

Rustin Got Back

(to Craig Anderson)

My wife always tells me I have a nice butt, but I think she is lying.  So it means a lot when you tell me that.

 - Rustin Fullmer

Wait A Minute, Mr. Postman

Snow, sleet, it doesn't matter...I'm going anyway. I'm like the postman.

- Professor

Third World Blind

Kim Wilber: I have class at 12:30. Third-world...

Emily Tanner: Oh. Do you like it?

Kim: It's okay. I mean, I'm not gonna do that third-world crap.

If I Only Had A Brain

You shouldn't open your mind to the extent that your brain falls out.

- Professor

In God We Trust

(After losing money in the stock market:)

I learned that it was better to trust in God than trust in Clayton [Christensen].

- Professor

That Hurts. It's True, But It Hurts.

In the morning class there have been a lot [of scriptural negotiations], but in our less spiritual afternoon class not so much.

- Professor

Turn That Frown Upside Down...With Money!

Professor: There is no correlation between money and happiness.

Nate Smith: Tell that to someone who owns a wave runner.  Have you ever seen anyone frowning on a wave runner?

The Bingham Sting 'Em

Dr. Bingham is serious about time-keeping of presentations. His words were:

"If you are about to go over time, I'll give you the finger".

Man Crush #2

(Professor brings doughnuts.)

Professor: They're hot.

 

Oliver Christensen: Like Mike Baer.

P-I-M-P

Chloe Andersen: I'm a networker/observer.

Oliver Christensen: I'm a networker/questioner.

 

Mathew Harrison: I'm a pimp.

Man Crush

I do love Mathew Harrison.  Not a man crush; just respect.

- Craig Anderson

Where? I'll Got Get It For You

Aah, don't worry about the rest.  I can pull $7 million out of somewhere.

- Jeremy Kearly

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I think there are certain aspects of the Mormon culture that breed stupidity. I mean that in the best way possible.

- Rich Hoopes

He's Got Ambition, Baby, Look In His Eyes

This might sound kind of weird, but what is the lowest grade you're going to give for this class?

- Ryan Wilson

The (2-by-2) Matrix

Two by twos can be used to decide anything! You could even do one to decide who you want to marry.

- Clayton Andersen

You're not cool unless you pee your pants.

Have you ever peed on a golf course?  I'm sure I have.

- Erik Rasmussen

Uhhh...What?

And once you start showering together it takes it to a whole new level.

- Paul Winterowd

Mathew is the new Perez Hilton

(After Mathew shares the story of Tiger Woods cheating on his wife.)

Julie's Dad: Where did you hear that story?

Mathew Harrison: TMZ.

Lost in Translation

Professor: "We have a saying in the US, 'Don't bite the hand that feeds you.'  International students, any versions of that in your language?"

Max Ganzin: "Don't saw the branch you're sitting on."

Marcelo Ribeiro and Tati Borghi: "Don't spit on your dinner plate."

Professor: "Great.  Anything else from our international students?"

Seiya Komatsu: "No.  I don't think we do that."

Marriott School Idol

Chris Fisher:  That's awesome!  You are my idol.

 

Carly Pedersen: Uh...that's unfortunate.  You should get a new idol.

 

Dave Wood:  Ok, will you be my graven image instead?

Jerky Boys

Professor: Wow what did you think about Brandon's presentation?

Tyson Woodruff: He kind of came off as a jerk.

Greg Lee: I liked it.

Professor in reference to Greg's comment:  Well you know, jerks like jerks.

Oh Yeah!

I'm just a love machine!

- Professor

Dirrty

(In speaking to a group of older, single women.)

Wait, how old are we?  We are all in dire need of dirty.

- Kristan Brooks

What can go wrong at Wymount?

(Regarding checking on their four kids, who were home during the NAC event.)

Esther Liddicoat: We should probably get home.

Brian Henderson: Are your kids babysitting each other?

Esther: Yeahhhh. Well, we've got a ten year old, and neighbor kids are helping. You know, making sure there are no fights.

 

David Liddicoat: What can go wrong at Wymount? She's mature. She's ten and a half.

The Midas Touch

(After hearing that Kyle Freebairn's team took first in the Idea Pitch.)
 
Man, Kyle succeeds at everything he does.  Everything he touches turns to gold...(pause)...I need him to touch me...

- Mathew Harrison

Are you ready for some Football?

I am gitty for FOOTBALL!

- Chris Brasher

Dictionary.com.

- gitty: n, in the UK, an alleyway (slang)

Tough Questions

Professor:  You're in your groups, right?  Paul, what group are you in?

Paul Winterowd:  Uhhh....

Nobody's Perfect

My wife is blessed with the gift of a critical eye.  I wouldn't know all my imperfections if it wasn't for her.  I would think that I was ready to be exalted.  She just wants to be helpful!

- Professor

Chinese Saying: Pai Ma Pi

It means, "Pat the horse's bottom"...or as Shan would say, "Lick the horse's bottom."

- Professor

We Are All On Drugs

And sometimes, let me just say this, being delusional is like a drug and I’m really good at being delusional.

- Erin Page

Mo' Money

(After a rather lengthy discussion with the waitress regarding the size of the claws on the lobsters in the tank, Kyle asked the waitress at Red Lobster a very important question.)

Kyle Freebairn:  "If you had just won $10,000 in a competition, and you came to Red Lobster to celebrate, what would you order?"

 

Rand Blair: "Let's be clear, Kyle.  You won one-third of $10,000."

 

Kyle: "True.  (to waitress) Still, if you had just won your share of $10,000 in a waitressing competition, what would you order?"

 

Waitress: "That's hard.  There are actually three things I would choose."

 

Rand: "That seems like a lot of food."

 

Kyle: "Hmm....Well, we did win $10,000 -- so just give me all three and I will eat one and we can throw the other two away."

No, We're Never Gonna Survive Unless We Get A Little Crazy

Anybody who wants to come into my office and bite their fingers until they bleed...they get any grade they want...cause that's frickin crazy!

- Professor

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

It's a terrible burden that we carry.

- Professor, talking about his PhD and the expectations that come with it

Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself

Sometimes my biggest pet peeve is other people - that they exist.

- Jesse Carman

Heaton Beatin'

(after a particularly raucous class session)

 

Oliver Christensen: So, have you decided that you want to come to BYU after visiting class today?

 

Prospective Student: I'm not as scared any more...it's not as serious as I was thinking it would be.

 

Emily Tanner: Well, this class isn't very representative. You should attend a finance class.

 

Oliver: He needs to experience the Heaton Beatin'.

 

Chloe Andersen: Any interest in attending Advanced Corporate Finance?

Prospective Student: Not if I'm going to walk out sucking my thumb.

Spoonman

(Comparing Spoon Me to Pioneer Electronics)

Instead of having a t-shirt that said "spoon me," they could have a shirt that said "pioneer me."

- Professor

She Blinded Me With Science

I don't believe in the science behind vaccinations.

- Mathew Harrison

Honest Abe - Hot or Not?

Professor: What makes a good leader?

 

Jared Mackrory: Chloe said pretty.

 

Chloe Andersen: I was being facetious.

 

Jared: But I think there's something to that. When I think about the good leaders in my life, they have been tall and...

 

Christian Nielson: There's no one hotter than Abraham Lincoln.

Dr. He-Man

Julie Hulet: "I have a ruptured disk, and it's extremely painful."

Professor: "Yeah, I had 3 of those. The best thing I ever did for my back was when I started doing 1-2 thousand sit-ups per day."

And thus Lego Flu was born

Even as an old guy, I put my mouth on Legos.

- Nat Smith

I'm looking for a position as an HR Sniper

It's important in HR that you shoot the right people - it's highly motivational.

- Professor

He Goes By "Fil"

Professor:  The whole experience caused my son "Filbert" many years of frustration.

Greg Lee: I don't mean to be rude, but are you absolutely sure the cause of his problems wasn't your naming him "Filbert?"

This Is How They Trash Talk Down Under

Once I give Carlo the Tim Tam Slam, he will got all soft and it will be over.

- David Liddicoat

Brian Henderson, You're My Hero

Brian Henderson: "You should know that we are moving forward with this, building a mockup, and flying out to Indiana to start working on this, and you can all say you were here at the beginning."

Rustin Fullmer: "So lucky to be in Brian's aura."

70% Of The Time, I Read My Cases Every Time

Jamie Malone - "Oliver, how many cases have you read since you've been in B-school?"

 

Oliver Christensen - "Of 'X' which is the actual number, probably about 70%."

 

Professor - "I'm surprised it's actually that high!"

War and Peace has Vampires in it, right?

Not that Stephanie Meyer is any different than Tolstoy.

- Nicole Whitehead

Peace, Love, and Microwaved Salisbury Steak

(in reference to organic frozen entrees)

It tastes good if your home is a commune.

- Dallan Huff

Evidently Money CAN Buy Happiness

I can't wait until I'm independently wealthy.  Then I can be a complete nut case.

- Jared Mackrory

Let Me Push Back On Ya

Professor, realistically that doesn't make sense.

- Aki Mikimoto

Taken Out of Context - Best Quote of the Year

Grab your ankles and let's get started!

- Rodrigo Silva

I'm a Soul Man

I took an African drumming class at Dartmouth.

- Jason Merrill

Everyone's Favoriate Bingham Moment

"I won't ruin the surprise, but just bring extra underwear, because you might poo your pants in class today."

- Kenric Russell, regarding HR class today

gChat Conversation: Tim Tam Slammin'

David Liddicoat: "I'm so happy I can get Tim Tams in the States.  Let the Tim Tam Slamming begin!"

Brian Henderson: "I want to Slam the Tim TAM!"

Brandon Anderson: "Where I come from 'Slamming the Tim Tam' doesn't mean eating cookies."

MBA Dictionary: Mandate

We couldn't find anyone else to go to lunch with us, so Ken and I went on a man date.

- Brandon Anderson

I Wish They All Felt This Way

I'd rather be hit by a truck than grade papers.  A small truck anyway.

- Professor

This Year's Hot New Christmas Toy: Layoff Elmo

Laying off an entire office before Christmas is just rude.

- Janessa Cloward

Pure, Unadulterated Truth

Women are crazy.

- Allison Clements

Work-(Love)Life Balance

Nothing balances your life like the complete imbalance that comes from starting a relationship.

- Erik Rasmussen

Like Gummi Berries?

Brian Henderson: You should have told her to eat more Acai berries.

AnnMarie Dunn: Where did the magic berries come from?

Moroni Schwab: Brian loves magic fruit berries.

Uhhh...They're Called Parents

This product would be great for pet and kid owners!

- Mike Baer

I'm Bringin' Sackcloth Back

(Referring to the MBA program's poor networking to date)

We should all rend our clothing and walk in sackcloth & ashes.

- Brian Henderson

Soapbox Baby

Greg Lee:  I'll come down off my soapbox.

Oliver Christensen:  Have you ever come down from your soapbox?

 

Elisa Clements:  You were born on a soapbox.

True Friends Tell It Like It Is

Oliver Christensen: We went to lunch with your brother today.

 

Chloe Andersen: Really? How was it?

 

Ryan Wilson: I think I have a man-crush on him.

 

Ronell Hugh: Actually, I'm pretty sure I like him better than you.

 

Chloe: Most people do.  I even like him better than me.

 

Oliver: He's definitely nicer than you, but your strength isn't your niceness.

- Oliver Christensen, Ryan Wilson, Ronell Hugh, Chloe Andersen

Designer Genes

Professor: Ronell, you're somewhat unique.

Ronell Hugh:  What?

Professor: I mean - uh - you have a nice pair of jeans on.

He's A Little Confused

I love finance for that reason...because it's just like chemistry.

- Professor

Awww, They're So Cute

Rustin Fullmer: Millions of microscopic baby worms?

 

Corey Davis: Sounds like my mission.

Tapeworms are the new Atkins

Erin Page: A disease is a great way to lose weight.

 

Heather Archibald: Maybe we could sell tapeworms or infections or something.

 

Steve Sawaya: Sounds like a great business plan competition submission.

Thanks, NAFTA!

Mexico recently passed China in exporting goods to the U.S.  That probably includes drugs also.

- Professor

Dig A Pit For Thy Neighbor, There Is No Harm In This

Michael Esselman: "That's not ethical.  You set us up!"

 

Professor: "I set it up; you were just the one who fell in!"

Just In Case You Forgot That We're At BYU

Professor: "Is it ever right to push someone off the bridge, if it means you will save everyone on the train?"

 

Other Student: "It's better for one man to perish than for a whole nation to dwindle in unbelief."

 

Rand Blair: "I would definitely push Laban off the bridge."

She's A Really Sweet Girl, Though

Talk about a declining margin of value.  Baby daughter: Priceless.  15-year old daughter: I'll pay you to take her.

 

- Professor

So Now What Am I Supposed To Do On The Weekend?

"I have found ONE universal principle.  One should NOT torture children for fun."

 

- Professor

Longing for Mediocrity

Justin: "Yeah, there are a lot of overachievers in the program."

Paul: "I can't wait to be done with school and be back in the real world where I can be above average among mediocre people."

- Paul Winterowd, Justin Andersen

FCE is the new FHE - Family Costco Evening

You've got the lesson next Monday.

- Devan Raynor to Weston Pope at Costco after the Cores, Lowells, Fowlers, Jacksons, Christensens, Raynors, and Popes all ran into each other

Like A Fireplace Poker Or Hugh Jackman?

I would rather be beaten by something hard and hot than grade papers.

- Professor

Wait...I Thought It Was The Other Way Around

The campus is our world.

- Elisa Clements

For My BPC Friends And Anyone Else Who Wants To Create

Creativity is not disobedience.

- Speaker

Just For The Taste Of It

Kyle Freebarin: Here's the recipe for Diet Coke - 2 parts vomit and 1 part hobo diarrhea.

Brandon Anderson: Don't forget the carcinogens.

Kyle:  Oh, yeah.  And 3 parts cancer.

He Told Me To Post This, And I Didn't Argue

Seriously, Brandon should get the Hawes for the MBA Quotes Blog.  If that's not a service to the community, I don't know what is!

- Mathew Harrison

Note To Self - Don't Invent A Time Machine

When I was in Russia, I had a public official once tell me, "If this were 10 years ago, I'd kill you and get away with it."  That was an interesting meeting.

- Speaker

The Cost-Benefit Analysis Doesn't Lie

I decided that I am too old and too cheap to be cool.

- Professor

The Only Thing I Remember From 'The Goal' Is The Fat Kid

Operations is my bottleneck.

- Vasanth Yenegalla

Grades Don't Matter, Right?

Dang, a 97%!  I haven’t gotten that high of a score since 7^th grade.

- Curtis Heyman

Ewwwwww.....

Kyle Lemmon: I thought you didn’t buy Nathan dogs anymore.

Curtis Heyman:  You know, I’m just not willing to pay $6 for anything else.  And I figure, I can hold it until I get home.

Great...Now I'm Hungry

Justin Andersen:  First you have the CPK.  What does CPK mean again?

Janessa Cloward:  California Pizza Kitchen?

We've All Been There, Bro

That..........................test.........................sucked.

- Kenric Russell, gchat status

Hey! We Call It "Human Capital Management" Now

Non-HR Professor:  "If you are an HR person, pay attention for a minute."

(A few minutes later...)

"By the way, the HR people can go back to daydreaming now."

"It Depends" Is Always The Right Answer

Professor:  I wonder if it's gentle enough to shove it up your nose.

 

Moroni Schwab:  Depends on how far you shove it up.

And They Do

Women will buy anything.

- Professor

I Wasn't Going To Say Anything, But Since You Brought It Up...

(Talking about trimming his unibrow):

"[With the Finishing Touch] you can get the Cro-Magnon hairs that I've got here."

- Professor

I Feel Witty, Oh So Witty

I've gotta stop making clever quotes because I'm monopolizing the quote board.

- Erin Page

Short, Dark, and Handsome

Your hair looks really good, Chloe.  When you said on your gchat status that your were going shorter and darker, I thought you were changing your dating preferences.

- David Moss to Chloe Andersen about her new hair style

And I'm Winning

The MBA quote blog is simply a popularity contest.

- Julie Hulet

Only If It Brings All The Boys To The Yard

Frozen hot chocolate?  Isn't that a milkshake?

- Justin Andersen

An Inconvenient Truth

Guest Speaker: (Speaking about laws and ethics) People in industry are always smarter than the government and will find a way around the system.

Professor:  Although this is an MBA class, you should know there are MPAs here.

Mike Brady:  It's okay, they should know this.

I Think He Forgot Who He Was Talking To

Professor: More students can register for my Strategic Issues in Operations class next semester.

Mathew Harrison: Is that a good class, though?

Joe the Plumber

(Joe enters the room after being absent.)

Class: Joe!

Mathew: He's been sleeping with Moroni.  Wait...

Who Is Emily Tanner?

Chloe Andersen:  I don't think Emily is trashy like that.

Julie Hulet: You don't know Emily.

Erin Page: Emily is a dirty, dirty.

(Conversation held while waiting for Emily Tanner to return from being visit taught.)

Any Questions?

Rustin Fullmer: Cody [Campbell] loves his axe.  When he goes camping, he spends his whole time cutting down trees and chopping wood.

Professor: Uhh...OK.  Anyway...back to the questions.

Craig Anderson: Oh, I have a lot of questions about Cody.

The Cheese Is Old And Moldy

Can we reiterate the reason this needs to be ridiculously cheesy?

- Jordan Ryskamp, in reference to "cheesy" Value Analysis Project interview guide questions

Usually They're Offended By My Odor

So you're offended by my arrogance?

- Allison Clements to Thamina Christensen

He's A Little "Slow"

Just because I'm single doesn’t mean I’m retarded.

- Moroni Schwab

HP

Erin Page: HP hates me.

 

Rich Hoopes: Right, HP stands for Hate Page.

Feels Like An Arby's Night

Speaking of Arby's process for slow-roasting beef:

"Yeah and they soak the beef in trash juice as they slow roast it."

- Kyle Freebairn

Why Can't We Be Friends?

It's kinda like Mexico and the US - they hate us, but they're all trying to move here.

- Corey Davis

Zing!

Kate Lindsay: I ran a 5k this summer, and I haven't run since.

 

Nathan Child: We can tell.

Superfriends

Jenny Clawson:  Next week we dress up, like...what do you call those people who save the day?

Group:  Uhh...Superheroes?

Jenny:  Yeah!  Superheroes!

Definitely A Wannabe

WI used to think the Spice Girls song 'Wannabe' was saying that I had to hook up with all the girl's friends before I could hook up with the girl. And I was like, "Man, I got to move to Britain!'

- Brian Henderson

Old Guys Rule

Professor: Do you have anyone on your [networking] list 40 years older than you?

Jenny: You're on the list.

- Jenny Clawson & Professor

She Knows From Personal Experience

No, let me just tell you - fiber ruins lives.

- Erin Page

I Think He Meant To Say Something Else

Professor: Why would you make that decision?

Ryan Wilson: I'm the one who has to sleep with myself every night.

He Does Quality Work

I haven't written a book report since the fifth grade - on a family of gorillas... So I copied a picture of this gorilla family in there and pasted my picture on it, and said 'Here's my family portrait!'

 

Brian Henderson

Overheard in the TNRB

Girl:  You want to fight?

Boy: I just want to do a chest bump.

Class Participation

Professor (who recently did a little bum shake for the class) to a distracted Oliver:  Are you in this program?

Oliver:  I'm sorry.  The butt still has me going.

Let Me Spell It Out For You

Emily Hart: "I used to sell sand."

Professor: "What?"

Emily: "Sand."

Professor: "Sand?  S-A-N-D?"

Emily: "S-A-N-D."

Love You, Mom

I have to go pick up my mom.  The problem is that she's gonna wanna talk.

- Thamina Christensen

Dude Looks Like A Lady

I'm just a pretty brunette.  That's all I am.

- Greg Lee

Waxing Philosophical

We could just look at ourselves in the mirror all day for the rest of our lives and feel completely fulfilled.  Then when God asks, "What did you do?" you can say, "I understood beauty."

- Erin Page making sense of some undergrad's infatuation with herself

This Could Take A While

MAcc student: "How many questions?"

Professor: "Ten Thousand. Each question is worth one one-hundredth of one percent."

Let's Get Ethical, Ethical

I don't have a moral compass.

- Tim Hart

Shout Out To Jason Merrill

Dartmouth is a crock.

- Professor

We're Not Addicted. We Can Quit Anytime We Want.

Curtis Heyman:  I heard he makes us close our computers during this class.

Derek Muiana:  Yeah, he does.

Curtis Heyman:  How am I going to stay awake?

Brandon Anderson:  What are we supposed to do?

Have You Heard?

(In response to the 10,000 emails, announcements, and gchat advertisements about the BPC event.)


Is the BPC kickoff tonight?

- Dallan Huff, ghat status

It's Not A Tumor

Speaking about why she won't go get her headaches checked out by a doctor:

"The other thing is, I don't have time for a brain tumor."

- Jenny Clawson

Grades Don't Matter

I hope you don't care about grades.  We just got a thing about grade distributions.  I don't care about that.

- Professor

Value Add

I add no value in this class.  I don't do anything.

- Professor

At Least It's Not A BHAC

Ronell Hugh: The IT paper is going to be a breeze compared to this.

AnnMarie Dunn:  Except for the part where I have to read a book.

Fear Factor

While getting kicked out of W241 at 12:05 am working on the BHAC paper...

Ryan: Behind Tyson Woodruff, Erin Page is the person I most fear in the MBA program.

AnnMarie: Is that a compliment?

Ryan: I don't know, I think she might actually attack me for that comment.  Now I'm really scared.

- Ryan Wilson and AnnMarie Dunn

Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

Chloe: I'm better than you at everything.

Ryan: I will always be better than you at peeing standing up

Chloe: I don't know.  I'm pretty talented.

- Chloe Andersen & Ryan Wilson

Key Performance Indicators - In 'N Out Edition

You may be wondering what drives it….cheeseburgers is what drives it.

- Professor

Knee How What?

Ryan Wilson to Dave Zhong:

"I won't correct your Mandarin if you don't correct my English!"

(in response to the grammatical error Dave pointed out in Ryan's gchat status)

BHAC Attack

BHAC ruined my whole weekend...plus the week before...

- Anonymous

BHAP

BIG HORRENDOUS ASININE PAPER

- Anonymous

You're In Good Hands With Allstate

Underwriting insurance for cars or homes - that's easy and straightforward.  It can easily be outsourced.  But insuring a baseball player's arm or J-Lo's rear end, that's a lot less codifiable.

- Professor

BHAC - Big Hairy Audacious Crap

gchat status:

"Giving myself until 10pm to be done with the BHAC.  I just erased everything I wrote because it was crap.  41 minutes to go."

- Anonymous

Classic Mathew

At 9:41pm, the night before the paper is due...

"I'm changing my BHAC."

--Mathew Harrison

Formula For Success

So far, this is the sweetest Excel formula I've pumped out tonight:

=(BZ7/(BZ3-BZ5))*(1-((1+BZ5)/(1+BZ3))^2)+(BZ11/(1+BZ3)^2)

It's most of the Two-Stage Growth formula for valuing stocks with nonconstant dividend growth. Just thought I'd share because I almost frisbeed my laptop across the room in a fit of glee when the answer came out right. Don't ask what the freak I'm doing out there in column BZ. I don't even know. I think I'm going to want that formula on my cheat sheet, but I better not need to use it on the mid-term.

- Erik Rasmussen

Creativity

When you are creative with finance, you go to jail.  When you are creative in marketing, you win awards.

- Professor

Gross Assets

They have a lot of assets that are going to be gross in 50 years.  They are to the hotel industry what the red hut pizza houses were to pizza.  They are now disgustingly skanky.

- Professor

Bromancing The Stone

Brian Henderson: Do you think there's too much bromance in the MBA program?

AnnMarie Dunn: No.  I don't think so.  But there does seem to be quite a bit of it.  Why is that?

Brandon Anderson: There's just a lot of dudes. And when you get a lot of dudes together, magic happens.

Classic Girly Sleepover

Erin Page: Yes, I have a room.  W221.  Come with me and we can study and laugh.

Emily Tanner: And have a pillow fight in our panties.

I Saw The Sign

I'm not gonna lie.  I've listened to "I Saw The Sign" 41 times.  What?  It's a good workout song!

- Emily Tanner

TLAs - Three Letter Acronyms

Professor: "And one more pet peeve of mine you all need to remember in your writing: DUA"

Murmurs from class: "What? Wait, what does DUA mean?"

Professor: "Don't Use Acronyms!"

BHAL - Big Hairy Audacious Life

My life is kinda like my hair - wild, crazy, and all over the place.

 

- Emily Hart

Trust: The Foundation of Any Healthy Relationship

I may not be the most exciting husband for my wife, but she can trust me.

- Professor

Big Daddy

If Daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

- Professor

Slumdog CPA

Hanging out with accountants – we call that “Slumming” in the business world.

- Professor

Mmm...Donuts

We've taken this like a donut, and glazed over it...

- Jesse Carman, discussing a group case

MBA Blasphemy

I don’t think exiting the market, unless you’re exiting capitalism, is a good idea.

- Professor

All My Title Ideas For This One Are Too Dirty To Post

Greg Lee: Some companies are competing on convenience now. One that comes to mind is Cialis and Viagra.

Jenny Clawson: Just comes to mind, huh?

- Greg Lee & Jenny Clawson

More Twilight...Because You Can Never Have Enough Twilight

Dave Bishop: [New Moon] is going to be a Girls' Night Out. I planned it that way.

 

Joe Nabrotzky: Smart thinking. Edward is dreamy, though. And that werewolf...

 

- David Bishop & Joe Nabrotzky

Twilight

Chloe: Don't try to blame reading Twilight on your wife.

Joe: No. Twilight's all me. Gotta have my fantasies.

 

- Chloe Andersen & Joe Nabrotzky

Are You Being Sarcastic?

So you are using sarcasm to make your point, huh?  Sarcasm - the highest form of wit.

 

Professor to Greg Lee

It Wasn't Me! It Was The One-Armed Man!

I got a parking ticket ... but I was totally innocent.

- Jenny Clawson

At Least He Doesn't Fail Anyone

If you quit on me you will die.  I will shoot you and not look back.

- Professor

M&A

We will assimilate you and add your distinctiveness to ours.

- Professor

I Got My PhD In Writing Left-Handed

Why am I writing left-handed?  I don't know...because I can.

- Professor

I Am What I Am

Jenn: "Do you have to be something you're not?"

 

Professor: "In general we'll let you be what you are.  So guess what you'll be?"

-Professor to Jenn Larson

Elevator Pitch

After sitting in this line for 20 minutes ... Then waiting for the recruiter to piddle around the booth for at least 10 more minutes, she finally comes up and starts talking...

About three minutes into things:

Recruiter: “So tell me why you want to work for American Airlines?”

Nat: “uhhh” “uhhh” “uhhh ... because it’s a big airline”



Nat: “just give me that resume back”

- Nat Smith

It's OK, I Have A Doctor's Note

Don't you wish you had Tourette's or something?  So you could just yell out whatever you wanted at any moment and have a medical excuse for it.

- Jenny Clawson

A Visionary Man

Kyle: He is just such a visionary, Chloe.  I hang onto his every word!

- Kyle Pully, in response to Oliver's quote in the Deseret News

Everyone Was Thinking It, He Just Said It

Everything you need to know about HR you can learn from Dilbert.  That’s where I learned it, anyway.

- Professor

Slick Willy

Professor: "Bill Clinton took credit for the economic recovery the day after he took office.  The truth is that Donald Duck could have been President and the economy still would have recovered."

Matt Kempton: "Donald Duck doesn't wear pants either."

- Professor & Matt Kempton

Coup de Grace

I would entertain a class coup if you really want to have an open book test... 

- Professor

One BILLION Dollars

Brent Walker: "Look, it isn’t even very much… just .8”

Kate Lindsay: “Right, .8 BILLION"

- Brent Walker & Kate Lindsay, discussing the worth of “Coin” on the Fed’s Balance Sheet

Scripture Power

My wife is so good.  She reads scriptures and stuff like that.

- Professor

Let There Be SumIf

When God created the Earth, he opened Excel.

- Oliver Christensen

I'm No Entomologist, But...

I think people are fairly different from cockroaches.

So, do you think that cockroaches care what other cockroaches think about them?

- Jason Merrill

Gut Check

Find the people with the calibrated guts.

- Professor

Horse Soup: Mmm...Mmm...Mmm...Good!

If you were eating soup and you threw in one horse and one rabbit, it would taste more like horse.

- Professor

Pretty Open

Emily: "I feel like we are open all the time."  (In reference to being open to receive the ball during flag football practice).

Erin: "That's because we're the prettiest."

- Erin Page & Emily Tanner

Nice Parameters!

See how sexy these [Excel] parameters are? It makes your heart soar like a hawk.

- Professor

Some Groups Are Too Close

(after looking over Jay Hart's shoulder at his computer):

Jason Stapley: "Jay, are you wearing Original Scent Speed Stick today?"

Jay Hart: "Why yes, Jason, I am!"

- Jason Stapley & Jay Hart

You're Fired!

- Once you've fired three people you've fired 500.

David Moss

Love and Marriage

Matt: “You get to hang out with your wife all day.”

Chris: “Yeah, but that’s not by choice!”

- Matt Kempton & Chris Kellett

Mmm...Pizza

By now you're all probably thinking, I could've gone to my statistics class and fallen asleep. Why did I come here to fall asleep? The answer is, because we have pizza.

- Guest Presenter

Risk vs. Reward

Look at me… A banana peel could do me in at any time!

- Professor about why he shouldn’t invest as aggressively as he does

Chocolate - It's For Dudes Too

You get to a certain time in the day when you need to drown your sorrows in chocolate.

- Steffan Freckleton

Reverse Psychology

Chloe:  How does reverse psychology work on teams?
Christian:  I don't want to alarm you, but I've been using it on the four of you since we started.

- Chloe Andersen & Christian Nielson

It's Just A Flesh Wound

She's in a bad situation, but she's not dead yet.

- Professor explaining why a character's poor decision still has value

Evil Empire

Where’s the president?  Who’s the president of the this section?  Why don’t you call on someone to give us the answer.  By the way, I am the emperor of this section, just so we’re clear.

- Professor

Two Words

No, it’s an op-tion.  Two words: op. tion.

- Professor

It's Raining (Hot) Men

You may wonder what “hot men” syndrome is…..I will tell you.

- Erin Page

Nunchuk Skills, Excel Skills...

Either you’re an Excel ninja, or you’re not.

- Curtis Heyman

The Creative Process

I always thought the marketers were the ones tripping on acid to come up with new ideas.

- Greg Lee

Clever...

"You don't get to the ah-ha until you have the ha-ha in front of it."

- Professor, on laddering

Busta Rhymes

(In reference to "not biting the hand that feeds" or "don't kill the golden goose"...)

"Make peace, don't kill geese. Ha hahahah. I just came up with that on my own! Pretty good for 10:30 in the morning!"

- Professor

Keep The Commandments...

"If tomorrow we all woke up and obeyed all of the commandments the country would be in a 20-year depression."

- Tim Hart, referring to counsel from church leaders to save money and get out of debt

Give & Take

Justin Andersen (Chloe's brother) to Chloe: "Hey, it's give & take. You watch our kids. We give you a bunch of stuff we didn't pay for."

- Justin Andersen

B(N)O

Nathan: "You know GNO's (Girls Night Out)?? Well this is a BNO (Boy's Night Out)..." (Referring to the guys who came to cheer)

 

Kate: "Yeah... AT the GNO..."

 

- Nathan Child and Kate Lindsay at the Women's Flag Football Game

Too Much Disney

Janessa: Why in the world are you speaking squirrel?
Jennia: At least I'm not speaking whale!

- Janessa Cloward, Jennia Parkin

Parenting Advice

Jason: "I have six kids; one's a piece of cake."

Chris: "One's a piece of cake once you have six."

- Jason Merrill & Chris Kellett

Sir Talks-A-Lot

Professor: "We haven't heard enough from Oliver today."

Oliver: "I don't think I've heard that phrase before."

- Oliver Christensen & Professor

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Ryan Wilson: "You don't respect any of my opinions."
Brian Henderson: "When I listen to them, I do."

- Ryan Wilson & Brian Henderson

Scorekeepers

MBA students don’t just keep score, they negotiate it.

- Professor

"Hands-On" Experience

It was very open and touchy-feely, and it made me feel icky.

- Brian Henderson

Mother-in-law, Round 2

We kicked my mother-in-law out.

- Jason Merrill

What Gets Measured Gets Improved

Cromwell: "I  have 3 comments to make..."

(6 minutes later)

Kyle Freebairn: "I actually have 7 comments to make...no, it's really just 4. I wanted to give 3 to Cromwell."


- Kyle Freebairn & Cromwell Wong

He's The Master of Analogies

It's like we're dealing with communication vegetables... what do we do?...ah....we can't communicate!

- Kyle Freebairn

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

(discussing the leadership case)

Kim: "He could take the promotion so that he makes more money. That way [his wife] gets more money [in the divorce settlement], and then she can marry the hot young architect at the firm."

Julina: "Well did you hear, it might not even be his baby?"

- Kim Wilber & Julina Manning

I'm A Soul Man

I'm dying in accounting.  Each time I go there I feel my soul wither.

- James Core

Average It Out

The problem with average is that it's like I've got my head in the freezer and my feet in the oven, but on average I'm just about right.

- Professor

Teamwork

I'll be your fingers; you be my head.

- Professor

Unsportsmanlike Conduct

On the trade-off between character and success for the football team:

 

"If we build great character, and have a good to mediocre team, then we are Ricks...and then we become BYU-Idaho."
 

- Professor

20, 20, 24 Hours To Go...I Wanna Be Sedated

♫ I want to be sedated.  Please, someone sedate me now.

 

- Erin Page, gchat status

Playing Hard To Get

For millions of dollars a naked man can chase me all day long.

- David Chung, referring to the male fan who kissed (attacked) a shirtless Rafael Nadal following a tennis match

Outports?

He analyzed our imports as well as our outports... wait..."

- Professor

The Big Easy

Headin' to N'awlins for the National Black MBA Job Fair. It'll be a lot like Mardi Gras, except we'll be in suits and ties and instead of dancing on Bourbon Street, and instead of eating great food we'll be breaking a sweat trying to answer questions correctly in job interviews. But other than that, just like Mardi Gras!

- Curtis Heyman, gchat status

True Love

You are everything to me.

- Professor to Craig Anderson

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

The Boolean function in Excel really is an elegant little structure.

(later)

A new interface that can make pivot tables out of cost structure data is very sexy.

- Professor

The Plague

By the way, don’t come too close to me because I’ve got…who knows what.  I think it’s bubonic plague.

- Professor

It's A Common Expression

That test is going to be a walk in the freaking cake.

- Mathew Harrison

Time Value of Money Proves That Women Are Worth More Than Men

Janessa: What do we do if we want to quit our grown up MBA jobs and raise babies?

Malorie: I guess we just put 0 [into the calculation] for some years.

Janessa: Lame. Oh well. We're still worth more than most of the men in this room because we're so much younger.

- Janessa Cloward & Malorie Lewis

The Dew

♫ I wonder if Sheri Dew hates the Mountain Dew slogan.

 

- Brian Henderson, gchat status

Mommy & MAcc

Professor: The last time you went into a store and bought a jacket, why didn't you ask the cashier what the debt to equity ratio was of the company that made the jacket?

MAcc Student: Probably because my mom was buying it for me.

Renaissance Man

Rand: That's what makes me the Renaissance Man.  I'm everywhere.

Professor: Yeah.  You're everywhere, but nowhere.

- Rand Blair & Professor

Chief Squish Officer

“Squish” is a very important finance term.

- Professor

Sleeping With Da Fishes

It's too bad employers can't ask about my National Origins. I think I might have a distinct advantage over other applicants if the interviewer knew I had some cement shoes in the back of my car if I didn't get the job.

- Pete Faleschini, gchat status

Criminal Masterminds

A very interesting thing about criminals - they don't read.

- Professor

Hmmm....

Carly: Have you ever proposed to someone while sitting on them?

Ray: No, but there's a first time for everything.

- Carly Pedersen, Ray Kearney

Obesity - The New American Dream

MMMM…This website makes me want to be obese!

(referring to www.smittenkitchen.com)

- Janessa Cloward

Read My Lips, No New (Fat) Taxes

Us fatties have to band together to eradicate this so called “fat tax” on the football t-shirts in the bookstore.

- Oliver Christensen

They Even Have The Same Accent

The bear is a symbol for California and the USSR. They have a lot in common, actually.

- Professor

Whole Lotta Love

"You're gettin' cozy dude. Good thing Oliver's not in here. I don't know if there's enough love for him."

- Josh Kruse

Rand Blair's Awesome Hair

Ok, so I know this isn't a quote, but I have to do this in response to Rand's amazing article.  So which hairstyle should Rand adopt to complete his transformation into a true marketer?  Answer in the poll to the right!

The Anthony Michael Hall

The Joe Dirt

The George McFly

The John Lennon

The Bob Ross

Level 5

"Is she applauding herself over there? We've got to work on the Level 5 Leadership."

- Professor, referring to Emily Tanner after she gave a correct answer

Smart Phone vs. Smart Man

"I love my man like I love my blackberry--explorable, portable, and talkable."

- Shan Huo

Who's the Boss?

"All I have to say is, I wear the pants in the family. She just tells me which ones to put on."

- Justin Andersen

Mr. Personality

"Personality is a tricky thing. Too little personality and you work in finance and end up being the guy that turns the lights off at night.  Too much and you run the risk of entering what I call the HR-Kum-ba-ya-danger zone."

- Rand Blair, MBA Newsletter

OMG BFF LOL

"DUI is bad, but there's an even worse phenomenon now - DWI: Driving While InTEXTicated."

- Professor

Sexy Thang

"I know ladders can seem mundane, but they can be pretty sexy when you've been scared up there."

- Professor

Mo' Money

(referring to Hal Wing - local millionaire)

"He's made a cur-bundle of money.  He's like Jay Leno.  He's got the biggest house in Springville."

- Professor

Tickle Me Emo

"Have you guys seen the Tickle Me Emo doll?  It says, 'I cut myself to know that I'm alive.'"

- Professor

O Canada

Andrew:  "If you brought a Chex Mix Stanley Cup to a party, you'd be the man."

Oliver:  "Says the Canadian."

- Andrew Ray & Oliver Christensen

No Pain, No Gain

(Referring to Allison's 24 Dates in 24 Days)
 

Rand: "So what you're doing is kind of like slow speed dating?"

Allison: "Yeah, but more intense and painful."

- Rand Blair & Allison Clements

Seriously, You Had To Be There

"Viva le Dinnerables!"

- Jim Fowler

Mr. Nasty

"We're gonna call Wes 'Mr. Nasty' now.  He's the king of nasty."

- Professor, referring to Wes Harris

Self-Awareness

"I didn't know I was the devil."

- Wes Harris

Capitalism (Not Love) Conquers All

Capitalist Pigs 41, other team 0 (flag football)

- Matt Schultz, facebook status

The Man Code - Article 1

"So apparently there's some man-code that when you share a bed with another dude, you can't face them.  My side hurt, and if I laid on my back then I snored, so I had to sleep facing him.  It was sort of a negotiation in the middle of the night."

- Moroni Schwab

I Heart Objects

"I just have a crush on Erin's outfit.  I have a thing for inanimate objects.  See my shirt [which reads] 'My music is my boyfriend.'"

- Carly Pedersen

If You Can't Stand the Heat...

(While roasting marshmallows)
"Why is this fire so hot?"

- Allison Clements

Are You Gellin'?

"The men in the MBA program have an infatuation with styling gel, and it is highly inappropriate."

- Erin Page

Out For Blood

"This isn't Relief Society. You're not trying to coddle the girl - you're trying to kill her."

- Coach Nathan Child to the women's flag football team

Erin Brockovich

"When I was negotiating with Chloe, I felt like Erin Brockovich.  I thought she was going to crush my hopes and dreams.

- Brian Henderson

Your Mom

Professor: "Should I call you David or Dave?"
Dave Harper: "It depends on if you are my mom."

- Dave Harper & Professor

SG Cowen

“My HR case solution: Fire everyone. Liquidate company. Slit wrists.”

- Erik Rasmussen, gchat status

Got Milk?

"If you milk the cow, you are a farmer. If you shoot the cow, you are a rancher."

- Professor

Naiveté

“We really are naïve if we’re honest with ourselves...we could get our pants taken down and spanked hard in the real world."

- Professor

Cheesy Chocolate

Professor: (talking about Kraft acquiring Cadbury) "You know what this means."
Nate: "They're gonna put cheese in chocolate eggs."

- Professor and Nate Taylor

Who Says 'Hard Boiled Old Owl' Anymore?

“I heard a few students in the hall who commented that I’m a ‘hard boiled old owl’.”

- Professor

Moses & Aaron

"I'm like Moses, and he's like Aaron.  He speaks for me."

- Brian Henderson referring to Chris Kellett

Ageism

♫ "Isn't there an age limit for intramurals?"

- Our Freshman Flag Football Opponents

She's Great With Kids

"I would also like to clarify my last statement of 'I hate the children.' What I meant to say was, I love the children, but I hate their appetites for gourmet macaroni.

- Erin Page

I Can't Get No...Satisfaction

"You are not giving me any satisfaction."

- Andrea Cordani to Jennia Parkin

Gotta Love Ops

"Operations isn't my strength because I feel weaker after doing it."

- Sabrina Chew

Madden

"What happens is sort of this John Madden thing...BOOM!!!"

- Professor, 9.9.09

Ouch!

Professor: "What's a high-value activity in the MBA program?"
Class: "Networking."

Professor: "Right.  And what's a low-value activity?"
Class: "Sitting in class."

- Professor

Fun & Games

"3D can make tic-tac-toe really interesting."

- Professor, 9.8.09

Key Performance Indicators

"Moab was a big success.  Although I was unable to attend, I know it was a success because there were dozens of photos of women in the program jumping in the air at the same time, which is a key success metric of any road trip."

- Rand Blair, 9.8.09

Dead Man Walking

"I like Coach Knight's style, but he touches me in the throat...he's a dead man!"

- Tyson Woodruff, 9.8.09

World Peace

"You hate orange?  Orange is the international color of peace.  Do you hate peace?"

- Dustin Cook, 9.8.09

Boxers or Briefs?

Heather: "Does anyone know what a creative brief is?"

David: "Unusual underwear?"
 
- David Moss & Heather Archibald, 9.3.09

If You Got A Problem...Yo, I'll Solve It

(Referring to Dr. Dean)

Brent: "He's ISYS, baby."

Chloe: "Are you really making a song reference?"

Steffan: (rapping) "Vanilla IS-YS, baby."

- Brent Walker, Steffan Freckleton & Chloe Andersen, 9.4.09

You Had to Be There

"Let me give a plug to JC..."

- Brent Christenson, 2nd semester

Analyze This

"I'm not sure how much more of this analytical thinking stuff I can take."

- Tara Hair, 9.4.09

Mother-in-law

"My mother-in-law is currently living with us in our basement.  I want to get her out."

- Jason Merrill, 9.4.09

Bromance

Mike: "We were a bunch of guys in there together all half-naked."

Christian: "Which half?"

- Mike Baer & Christian Nielson, 9.4.09

Raising Arizona

Kent: "I'm from Flagstaff."

Professor: "I'm from Arizona too - from Tempe."

Kent: "Well, Flagstaff is the nice part of Arizona."

- Kent Ferguson, 9.4.09

Managing Salvation

"If you can't manage $100, you can't handle the celestial kingdom."

- Cromwell Wong, 9.3.03

Getting Old

"I just bought a 1998 Buick Park Avenue and increased my effective age 300%."

- Kyle Freebairn, gchat status

Beautiful Eyes

"I have puke green eyes...
You're hot. What's wrong with your eyes?"

- Ryan Wilson, 9.3.09

Donuts or Steaks?

(Someone's phone rings in class)
Class: "Donuts!"
Mathew: "Steaks."

- Mathew Harrison, 9.3.09

Optimism

(In relation to the BYU-OU game)
"I'm cautiously semi-optimistic."

- Ryan Wilson, 9.3.09

Beer at BYU?

"I'm not Michelob, not the cheap stuff. I buy a lot of beer for clients."

- Tim Hart, 9.3.09

Personal Confessions

"I have a lot of personal confessions..."

- Emily Tanner, 9.3.09

Mathew's Policies

"I have a policy. I don't do any reading before the first day of class, and I don't do any homework on my birthday."

- Mathew Harrison, 9.3.09

Homage to Kellett

Professor: "Rustin's been very patient, yet aggressive, in a very laid back kind of way."

Rustin: "This is how I sit in class."

- Rustin Fullmer, 9.3.09

Road Trip Potty Break

Thamina: "My car will make it all the way to Vegas."

Kate: "I'm not going to make it to Vegas without having to stop to use the bathroom."

Thamina: "You'll have to learn."

Kate: "I'm not going to learn in a day. You should have told me this months ago so I could start practicing."

- Thamina Christensen & Kate Lindsay, 9.3.09

Illegal Seat

"I'm sorry. That is an illegal seat."
(Later)
"Now I'm illegal!"

- Professor, 9.3.09

Corporate Finance

Adam: "Corporate finance - a room full of underachievers."

Kyle: "Yeah, it's like a root canal every day of your life."

- Adam Larsen & Kyle Freebairn, 9.3.09

I Hate You

"Some of you, ah...ah...have told me...ah...that you think I don't
like some of you. I just want you to know that's absolutely not true. I hate all of you the same."

- Professor

Old Man

"This guy comes across as an old man afraid to use a VCR."

- Jeremy Kearly, 9.3.09

Google

(referring to Dr. Rhoads' youth)
"I don't think Google goes back that far."

- Cody Campbell, 9.2.09

Sitting

"This is just how I sit in class."

- Chris Kellett, 9.1.09

Walmart

"Walmart's gonna eat your lunch for breakfast!"

- Professor