Yeah he is...

Context: Talking about dating during undergrad.

Jack Shirts: "Yeah...hello....I'm a player."

WHOAAAAAA!

(While discussing whether “The World is Flat” is a good book or not)
Lyosha Tovmasyan: “I don’t read the content in the book and look at it as black or white, I see it as a rainbow”

Mike McInelly: “is it a single or a double?”

Our first video quote blog entry

Here is Joel Tobey doing a dance as part of a presentation in the Strategy class. I'm not sure why, but it's funny

Professor One-upper

TJ Davis:  I watch the Price is Right religiously.  I'll take you on any day.

Professor:  I watch General Conference.

No words...

Professor:  My wife pretty much takes everything back...  she took back all of her boyfriends before me.  In fact, I'm pretty sure my wife has kissed every one of your dads.

Dancing ponies

Ralph Christensen (speaking about the Golden Era of the MOB program): You know, we were encouraged to be really aggressive back then, real change agents. We had more of a cowboy mentality back then. You guys...

Victor Monreal: Yeah, we're more like show ponies

Church Ball: The Anti-Missionary Activity

Professor:  "I've had a few technical fouls in my day...  in church ball.  I joined the church in spite of church ball.  You'd think most of my technicals were for swearing, but they were really just for sarcasm.  I know, you'd never think that.  I did grab a ref once.  Anyway, let's begin!"

Safety is the key

(after talking about how DuPont's safety record for employees extends to the home - if you cut yourself at home it counts against your safety record)
Janessa Cloward: I should not work at DuPont. I would kill their safety record.

Signs of Burnout

Tara Hair:  I can't sleep because I'm stressed.
Chris DuBois:  Is there anything I can do to help?
Tara:  I just need drugs...  I just need drugs...  I just need drugs...
Chris:  ...I'll see what I can do

Long Term Planning

(While discussing retirement planning)

Professor: "I make sure my kids know that I am spending their inheritance; I want to make sure they are sad when I die."

Gender Confusion

Overheard on the loud speaker at the Rex Lee Run after placing in the top 3 of some female category: “Dustin Schick is actually a man.”

Just gross

Andrea Cordani: Do you have a thermometer?
Ray Kearney: Yeah, if I can find it..
A: It isn't a rectal thermometer, is it?
R: Only once...

1 minute of laughter

R: Sorry, I couldn't resist it
A: What? The joke or the thermometer?

Brandon Davies got in trouble for less...

From an email chain regarding a "Guy's Night Out": 

"Eaton

If I can ditch my illegitimate kids for months at a time, what's one night ditching yours!?  Now man-up and do some work! 

Adam (Eshenroder)"

The best idea ever... or a big scam

(Lewis Gunter speaks for a few minutes about a BPC team, and is interrupted...)
Rhett Weller: "Wait, did you just compare their business plan to cold fusion?"

A Fascinating Science Experiment

While discussing a case, Bradley Linnell went off about his new SWAT team tactic that entails throwing a Box-o-snakes into the house to clear out the people.

To which Elisa Wang responds, “what’s in your brain?  I want to study it!”

Half your age plus seven makes it ok

Christian Ward (in a tennis class):  I was hoping it would be me and all the freshmen.  Wait, did that sound a little creepy?"
Tennis instructor:  yeah, especially since you just told us how old you are

Medication for dummies

Professor: "So, which company is your group going to research?"

Student: "Pfizer."

Professor: "Oh, Pfizer, interesting. . . I'm on about all the medications they make."

The Salary Bubble that will hopefully never pop

Professor: Today the average CEO makes 263 times what the lowest paid employee makes.  That is double what it was in the 90's.  How much longer can these lopsided ratios continue?

Bradley Linnell: Hopefully until we retire.

It's not you James, it's, well, ok, it's you

James Core: "Are you ever slightly offended when you walk into the restroom and the air freshener automatically goes off."

A great policy

Professor to Jeff Butler: So Jeff, do you have life insurance?
Jeff Butler: Yes I do, my wife majored in Chemical engineering.

A True Man's Man

Professor:  "So, I have a Prius. Wait, no I don't. I wouldn't be caught dead in one. I always see them at Ikea. I'd rather drive the young chick car - the Mini Cooper."

The man you wish your man was

Dr. Foster: Amazon employs a CRM system to customize your experience on their webpage.  So let's look at their suggestions for my next purchase.  Ok, there are drills here, I bought my son in laws drills for Christmas, but I've never bought razors from them, odd.

Justin Anderson: Maybe they figure if you are buying drills you're a manly man, that you need to shave.

More toilet humor

(after Rhett Weller sent Hailey George a picture of one of the fancy toilets at Google):

Hayley George: I don't know how I feel about Rhett sending me pictures about toilets.

Don't even want to ask...

David Moss: you know I'm really a fan of laxatives.

Interesting but false

Professor:  I found this data interesting.

David Moss:  Didn't you make up the data?

Professor:  Uh, yeah.

David Moss:  So, you made up interesting data?

Professor:  Yes.  Everything I do is interesting.

Better late than never

Everyone going around in a class sharing their highlight of the week:

Malorie Lewis: I finally put together a resume that I can send out to people.

Kenric Russell: Welcome to the MBA program!

You get what you pay for

Professor:  " I refinished the inside of one my houses a few years ago.  I'm a finish-carpenter.  When I'm done, it's finished, regardless of how it looks... I figure I made $0.25 an hour for my work."

I'm sure Josh could come up with some good nicknames

Professor: When you spend time with someone, you come up with a nickname for them.  It's a sign of love.

Mac Wilson: Josh (Kruse), you will always just be Josh.

Valid excuse to leave school #1

Jay Hart:  Well, I want to go home and hang out with my wife.  My wife is hot.

Tara Hair:  That's true, your wife is hot.

Great fan support

Brian Dennison: I knew we were going to win when I spotted two apostles in the stands.

These days it can be tough to tell

Professor:  (referring to some dispute over an actor/actress in a Harley Davidson commercial): "Matt may be right. We may be dealing with a gender bender here."

Phantom bad hair days are the worst

(Bald) Jack Shirts: "Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel like my hair is messy. And there's nothing I can do about it. So it just feels messy all day."

Where there's smoke...

Professor: We'll have to get Josh's insight into the accounting part of this problem...
Josh Kruse (flustered, then realizing the professor is referring to his TA): Oh.....for a second there I was wondering what you were smoking!

Mid life dental crisis

Professor:  "Yes, I got braces.  Went in for a consult and ended up with braces.  Let's see what you do in your mid-40's."

Permission to tell professors they're wrong!

Professor trying to explain how he's not the ultimate authority:  "Some of you are probably high priests and I'm still an elder. See what I'm saying?"

Serious case of mistaken identity

Professor: Josh, we'll send it to the finance guy for this one.

Josh Kruse: Uh, I'm HR.

Professor: Really?

Brandon Wells: he can give you a hug but that's about it.

The Russian/American/Dutch Dream

Professor:  Everyone deserves an AK-47, a mortgage, and a place to smoke pot

The value of operations

Professor:  what does operations do?
Brandon Wells:  Nothing
Professor:  (didn't hear) What was that?
Brandon Wells:  I mean, besides playing Root Beer games.....

What a nice compliment

Andrea Cordani: Britney (Riggs), you are at least an 8 cow wife

A scary thought

Bradley Linnell:  You gotta love a woman who loves firearms.  You just can't upset her.

A true motto for life

Austin Wilcox: "Seems strong in hind view, but how do you know these things from the start? How do you know you aren't deluding yourself?"
Professor: "There's no tool in the world to stop delusions. There's the old saying, 'you can't fix stupid.'"

Sometimes we lose count after a million

Cannon Hamaker: How many children do you have?

Janice Kirk: I don't know.

Bradley Linnell: Are you a seahorse or something?

Did you know murder was politically correct?

(While discussing a case)

Patrick Nelson: "So if the fisherman-- er, fisher people..."

Professor" "Yeah, let's be sure to be politically correct as possible.  Let's just call them murderers."

Bluntness is honesty

Professor:  I didn't hear what you said but I'm sure it was wrong

(turns out the student was right)

And we're back...

Professor: you international student, what do you think of root beer?

Some MAcc Student : it tastes like medicine, I’d rather drink Nyquil instead.