Ethics Rockstar

(Upon being the first person to finish the ethics final)

I'm the most ethical person in here.  Take that, Greg Lee!

- Derek Muaina

West Virginia, Mountain Momma...Take Me Home, Country Roads

You know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia, because if it was invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

- Professor

Never Dissemble

Professor:  I decided to write him (Brandt Anderson, owner of Utah Flash) an email, but my wife said, "No, let's keep peace in the ward."  I wrote it anyway, and I told him about a website that would be very helpful to him.

 

Brian Hall:  Mormon.org?

Teleological or Deontological?

(In ethics class, after Kyle delivered a brilliant ethical insight:)

Professor: Wow! Someone did the reading for today.

 

Kyle: Yes.

Kyle (under his breath): ...uh...ethical dilemma here...

Kyle (out loud): No, I didn't.

Kyle (out loudER): Well, I read half of it, but I usually round up.

He's Very Gentle

I don't want to explain this, but I want the male nurse.

- Christian Nielson

Only In Utah

♫ "exquisite home teachers" = selling point on ad for condo in ladies restroom, 1st floor TNRB

 

- Allison Clements, gchat status

Blue Steel

Walkin' In A Winter Wonderland

(In reference to a group of undergrads walking out the door dressed in all out snow clothes.)

"Those poor undies. They're all bundled up to walk in the winter."

- Oliver Christensen

I'm Not Dead Yet

Julie Hulet: I feel like when Monty Python starts being quoted, group productivity goes down instantly.

Chloe Andersen: What are you going to do? Bleed on me?

And I Just Can't Get Enough

Julie Hulet: I hate that stupid quote blog.

Oliver Christensen: Why?

 

Julie: I don't get on it enough.

Apparently, Titles Aren't Important to Them

Sam Kearl: The title of our ethical case is "Close or Disclose."

Ethics class: --silence--

 

Sam: Catchy title, huh? I came up with it myself.

Can You Say, "Butt-Smart?"

(While studying quantifiable unknowns in finance:)

"Butt" is the universal quantifier.  If you say "that guy is butt-stupid," he's really stupid.

- Trevor Paulsen

I Want Money...That's What I Want

If you can't have anything else, at least make money.

- Stephen Jones

I'll Tell What I Want... What I Really Really Want

I really wanted the Spice Girl, but I'm still happy that I got this.

- Brittany Riggs

Who's the Boss?

(In Strategy class referring to the team that has both Kelletts.)

Greg Lee:  Is it true this is a family-run business?

Adam Wankier:  I heard someone was sleeping with the boss.

Chip Tycoon

Curtis Heyman:  Did you know that somebody found a Dorito shaped like Texas and eBay-ed it for like $1000?

Rustin Fullmer:  Dang!  I need to look more closely at my chips.

Denied!

(A group of MBAs walk into the elevator occupied by an undergraduate female.)

Ronell Hugh:  Look, a lady friend!

Oliver Christensen:  Nice to meet you.  What is your name?

Undergrad: Victoria.

Oliver:  I am Oliver and this is Ken, Mike, Dave, Paul, Ronell, and Ryan.

Undergrad:  I'm way too young for all of you.

We Can Dance If We Want To

Chloe Andersen: You've got glitter right by the corner of your eye.

Tim Lovell: I do? It's leftover from the interpretive dance I did this morning.

 

Sam Kearl: I don't feel like I know this team at all.

I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night

I've never been interested in Guitar Hero, but Polka Hero?  That's something I could get into.

- James Pearce

Rustin Got Back

(to Craig Anderson)

My wife always tells me I have a nice butt, but I think she is lying.  So it means a lot when you tell me that.

 - Rustin Fullmer

Wait A Minute, Mr. Postman

Snow, sleet, it doesn't matter...I'm going anyway. I'm like the postman.

- Professor

Third World Blind

Kim Wilber: I have class at 12:30. Third-world...

Emily Tanner: Oh. Do you like it?

Kim: It's okay. I mean, I'm not gonna do that third-world crap.

If I Only Had A Brain

You shouldn't open your mind to the extent that your brain falls out.

- Professor

In God We Trust

(After losing money in the stock market:)

I learned that it was better to trust in God than trust in Clayton [Christensen].

- Professor

That Hurts. It's True, But It Hurts.

In the morning class there have been a lot [of scriptural negotiations], but in our less spiritual afternoon class not so much.

- Professor

Turn That Frown Upside Down...With Money!

Professor: There is no correlation between money and happiness.

Nate Smith: Tell that to someone who owns a wave runner.  Have you ever seen anyone frowning on a wave runner?

The Bingham Sting 'Em

Dr. Bingham is serious about time-keeping of presentations. His words were:

"If you are about to go over time, I'll give you the finger".

Man Crush #2

(Professor brings doughnuts.)

Professor: They're hot.

 

Oliver Christensen: Like Mike Baer.

P-I-M-P

Chloe Andersen: I'm a networker/observer.

Oliver Christensen: I'm a networker/questioner.

 

Mathew Harrison: I'm a pimp.

Man Crush

I do love Mathew Harrison.  Not a man crush; just respect.

- Craig Anderson

Where? I'll Got Get It For You

Aah, don't worry about the rest.  I can pull $7 million out of somewhere.

- Jeremy Kearly

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I think there are certain aspects of the Mormon culture that breed stupidity. I mean that in the best way possible.

- Rich Hoopes

He's Got Ambition, Baby, Look In His Eyes

This might sound kind of weird, but what is the lowest grade you're going to give for this class?

- Ryan Wilson

The (2-by-2) Matrix

Two by twos can be used to decide anything! You could even do one to decide who you want to marry.

- Clayton Andersen

You're not cool unless you pee your pants.

Have you ever peed on a golf course?  I'm sure I have.

- Erik Rasmussen

Uhhh...What?

And once you start showering together it takes it to a whole new level.

- Paul Winterowd

Mathew is the new Perez Hilton

(After Mathew shares the story of Tiger Woods cheating on his wife.)

Julie's Dad: Where did you hear that story?

Mathew Harrison: TMZ.

Lost in Translation

Professor: "We have a saying in the US, 'Don't bite the hand that feeds you.'  International students, any versions of that in your language?"

Max Ganzin: "Don't saw the branch you're sitting on."

Marcelo Ribeiro and Tati Borghi: "Don't spit on your dinner plate."

Professor: "Great.  Anything else from our international students?"

Seiya Komatsu: "No.  I don't think we do that."