Outsourcing

Professor:  Moroni, I noticed you didn't get up and give your paper to someone else.

Moroni Schwab:  I gave it to Shan, and she did it for me.

Oliver Christensen:  He outsourced it...to China.

Crucial Conversations

(on the phone) "Uh, Lisa, this is Moroni.  You were the one who hit my car with your bike today, right?"

- Moroni Schwab

Like Gummi Berries?

Brian Henderson: You should have told her to eat more Acai berries.

AnnMarie Dunn: Where did the magic berries come from?

Moroni Schwab: Brian loves magic fruit berries.

"It Depends" Is Always The Right Answer

Professor:  I wonder if it's gentle enough to shove it up your nose.

 

Moroni Schwab:  Depends on how far you shove it up.

He's A Little "Slow"

Just because I'm single doesn’t mean I’m retarded.

- Moroni Schwab

The Man Code - Article 1

"So apparently there's some man-code that when you share a bed with another dude, you can't face them.  My side hurt, and if I laid on my back then I snored, so I had to sleep facing him.  It was sort of a negotiation in the middle of the night."

- Moroni Schwab