Proof that you'll retain EVERYTHING you're learning in MBA school (riiight...)

Class of 2010 graduates Paul Winterowd and Ronell Hugh during a conversation discussing real estate investments...

Paul: It's a good thing we got our MBA so create spreadsheets to figure all this stuff out

Ronell: Ya, now we know how to calculate that NPR

Paul:  Uhh, I think it's called a NPV...

From China with love

(Apologies in advance for the self-indulgent nature of the next two posts.  Going on a trip to China with a bunch of students can generate a lot of ridiculous quotes, but instead of spreading them out over multiple posts, I'll condense them to two:  one for Jack Shirts, one for everyone else who went to China.  This is the "everyone else" post)

"Print advice?  Is that like a fortune cookie or something?"
 -Janessa Cloward to the Chinese ATM asking if she wanted a receipt (aka advice)

Elena Samuels:  "You speak Spanish?
Chris DuBois:  "No, but I speak cajones"

"How bout Chinese food for dinner tonight?  Yeah, I could go for some Chinese"
-Everyone after 10 straight days of Chinese food

Kelsey Harris:  "We ordered our first meal without Chinese speakers!"
Chris DuBois:  "Yeah.  At Pizza Hut.  And the menu had pictures.  And we still screwed it up"

"Don't sit on the ground in China.  Don't ask me, why, just don't."
-Dr. Fawcett

"You are all employees of the Kelsey Harris Company"
-Kelsey Harris after the nametags at Google implied we all worked for Kelsey

"I wouldn't bounce in the elevator if I were you.  It says Hitachi, but I'm pretty sure it was made in China."
-Trevor McEwen while riding in the elevator in the hotel in Beijing

Chris DuBois. (to annoying street vendor):  "Bu yao!" (meaning "I don't want it!)
Street vendor:  "Bu yao?  You speak excellent Chinese!"

"Are you a shy boy?!?"
-Suit store lady to all of the men buying suits in Shanghai when asking if we wanted her to hold up a sheet as we tried our suits on.

"Oh forget it shy boy!"  *throws sheet away*
-Suit store lady to James Core after she accidently pinned James's shirt to his pants

Jim Fowler:  "What's sorcery?"
James Core:  "I'm pretty sure that says sourcherry"
-Trying to order a sourcherry sundae at Burger King in Hong Kong

"Don't eat butter for every meal."
-Jim Fowler

"I was put on this earth to eat Caio's jalapenos"
-Chris DuBois after a 10 days of Caio avoiding spicy food

2 for the price of 1, the true Costco way

In a conversation about how it takes forever to get out of Costco...

 

"And then you have the temptress with the pizza..."

- Dustin Cook

 

About how economical the meals at costco are...

 

"A piece of pizza and a drink for 2.70?? That's like 1980!!"

- Dustin Cook

Trust Her On This One...

Nicole Whitehead overhead explaining to Andrea Cordani: "I know. I'm right. I'm always right."

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Jack Shirts: grades and GPAs don't matter anyway, right?

Dallan Huff: the Lord knows what your GPA is, Jack

Janessa Cloward: I don't think the Lord cares what my GPA is

Dallan: if the Lord cares about a sparrow falling, He cares about what your GPA is

Take Off, Eh!

Jared Mackrory:  Sometimes they act like hosers.

Rand Blair: Jared, quit using slang from 10 years ago.

Steve Jackson: What are you talking about?  They use the word "Hoser" in Canada now.

Rand Blair: Case in point.

Mr. President

Brian Hall's 5-year old, Ethan, upon meeting Cecil Samuelson:

Ethan:  "You're the president of the whole school?"

President Samuelson:  "Yes, I'm the President of BYU.  Do you want to be the President of BYU some day?"

Ethan:  "Uh, yes.  Uhm, no.  I want to work at a pet store."

President Samuelson:  "That sounds like it would be more fun."

Ethan:  "Yeah."

SWASS

Brandon Wells: Did you go to the gym yesterday?

Jenny Clawson: Yes - but people got the bikes all sweaty - plus there was SWASS all over the seat!

The Love Guru

Tim Hart: "That reminds me of my secret to a happy marriage.  I pretend that I am thinking about it long enough for her to think I am thinking about it, and then I say 'Yes, dear.'"

Mr. Obvious

Professor: "So, Jared, what did you think?"

Jared Riedel: "About the conclusion of Getting Past No? I thought it wrapped up the book pretty good!"

Trunky

Professor:  “Here it is!  The last cold call of the semester!” (to student) “What did you think of the article?”

Brian Henderson:  “I didn’t read it.”

+8

Ryan Wilson: (Referring to an unnamed MBA) His wife gave him a lunch budget.

Ken Carpenter: She treats him like Jon Gosselin!

It's Ronell!

I saw this ad today on the BusinessWeek website.  Way to represent, Ronell!

Full House

Brandon Wells:  Brandon Anderson...Branderson!

Brandon Anderson:  Yeah, that was a nickname from high school.

Brandon W:  Consider yourself lucky.  My nickname was Bob Saget.  I've grown into my Jewish nose a bit since then.

Vocabulary Lesson

Professor:  He's a great author.  He analogizes in a really effective way.

Jenny Clawson:  Is that a real word?  Is that like when you apologize for farting?  Anal-ogize?

Ouch!

Chris Kellett:  85 questions on the final?  That's way too long!

Professor:  You know, as I was finishing it last night I thought about putting two extra questions on the exam:

1. "Who is the biggest whiner in class?"
2. "Who is going to get out-gunned by his wife in every negotiation throughout his life?"

Mentor This!

(gChat conversation)
Brandon Anderson:  He'd be a great mentor.

Curtis Heyman:  I thought you already had a mentor - Chuck Norris.

Brandon:  Yeah, that's true.  But the thing about Chuck is that his advice is so mind-blowing that I end up in the hospital every time I ask him for guidance.

Obligatory Star Wars Quote

Oliver Christensen: Your lack of faith is disturbing.

Joe Knight: *fakes being choked*

Let's Export Seagulls To Balance the Trade Deficit

(When discussing China ridding itself from a locust problem)

Stephen Jones: Why didn't they use seagulls?

Professor: It's China, not Utah.

The Silent Killer

James [Hatch] is silent, but deadly.


- Mike Blaylock