Marital exit strategies

Brandon Wells: If you're going to be a trophy wife, you need to sit courtside (at an NBA game), not in the nosebleeds. How are the players going to see you?

Janessa Cloward: I'm not sure that'll work...what about that whole flirt-to-convert thing?

Brandon: If he's in the NBA, you know he'll cheat on you, so just don't get a pre-nup. You'll get a divorce in a year and end up with his money, and then you can marry your good little Mormon boy.

Janessa and Brittany Riggs: I guess that works...

Brandon: It's called an exit strategy, ladies. Welcome to business school.

Case in point

Justin Andersen (discussing a negotiation):  Wait, is Carly part of the union?
Chris DuBois: Don't worry, Carly's deaf anyway.
Carly (on the other side of the lounge):  What'd you say, I'm dead to you?!?
Justin:  Exactly

It's for the best

Jack Shirts to Tara Hair when talking about going to dance clubs.

Jack:  I'm not allowed to dance in public. I've been told I dance like Bill Cosby and i like cool 80's sweaters. I've said too much already.

Thank goodness it's not!

Professor:  "This is not a striptease!  Go faster!"

That's saying a lot!

(At the GFA Mock interview event)

Dean Graham: "So how'd you do?"

Rhett Weller: "I bombed a mock interview. That's more depressing than the accounting final."

When in Rome...

Brandon Wells:  The Romans gave us the aqueducts and the monogamy..... 2 out-of-date things.

Not a study I want to be involved in

Professor: I’ve been doing studies on the effects o things like passing gas in public, picking your nose…etc

Anonymous Coward: Out of curiosity, how do you study that?

I have nothing on this one...

Brent Taylor (to Shilpa Manjeshwar): You know, if the finance interview doesn’t work out, eBay does have a call center in Sandy

Mark Stoker: Wow Brent, can you say racial profiling?

Great night of sleep, guaranteed!

Professor: Does anybody read the s&p 500 ratings manual?

(silence)

Broc Wilde: yeah, that one’s right on my nightstand

But what language are they in?

Andrea Cordani:  "There are actually a couple of swear words that I really like"

Three guesses what professor said this...

Professor:  "Did I give you a really hard quiz question today?  Yes, I gave you the hardest question known to mankind!"

Hang in there...

Devon Black: "So Steve when do you expect to get rejected by XYZ Company "

Steve Selden: "He said it would take 1-2 weeks to finalize the rejection letter"

Recruiting season can really get you down...

Avoid the Anonymous Coward

Anonymous Coward (via email):  yay for me, I have crabs...........................................next to all my items!

Anonymous coward strikes again

Professor:  "How good do you think my wife felt when I put my first million dollars in the bank and paid off my mortgage?"

Anonymous Coward:  "Better than my wife"

No Doubt About It

Josh Kruse:  "I get the feeling that other people think a lot more than I do"

Playing the part is important too, I guess...

Rhett Weller: "Seth, Why are you dressed up today?"
Seth Gonzalez: "Phone interview"

Even after brain surgery, Jasmine rocks

Jasmine Palmer (After receiving a University of Utah mug in the hospital):  "Don't worry, we'll burn it after I'm done with it."

Sure you are Brandon!

Brandon Wells: "I should have done HR.  Oh, wait, but I'm not a mariposa."

Anonymous coward says funny thing

Anonymous student who's too cowardly to let me use his name:  "Hey Matt, you wanna get a room Monday at 8?"

Matt Conran: "Ummm.."

Anonymous coward:  "Maybe I should preface that.  Hey wait, don't put my name on that quote, the first thing that you get when you search my name is that stupid quote blog."

Makes me want to work out

Professor talking about the biases of our generation:  "Your parents had racism and sexism, but you have fat-ism. Your generation has a bias against fatness, so you are all going to grow up and be fat-ists."

Goldilocks said the same thing...

Classmate: "Why don't you have a bed, David?"

David Chung: "I was thinking of getting a bed, but you know, other people's are better."