He Counts Good and Spells Even Gooder

Professor:  I can think of a word that starts with a "C" and ends with a "Y".
(writes on the board) "CRYBABIE"

Nathan Child: And that's two words.

Name Game

(discussing the intimate customer knowledge of the Ritz-Carlton)

Nathan Child (looking at Riley): "So, for example, if you have twenty different Riley Nelsons..."

Riley Anderson: "Or, Anderson."

Baby Daddy

The difference between you and me is that your babies are all at home.  I don't know where all mine are at.

-Nathan Child to Brian Hall

Zing!

Kate Lindsay: I ran a 5k this summer, and I haven't run since.

 

Nathan Child: We can tell.

B(N)O

Nathan: "You know GNO's (Girls Night Out)?? Well this is a BNO (Boy's Night Out)..." (Referring to the guys who came to cheer)

 

Kate: "Yeah... AT the GNO..."

 

- Nathan Child and Kate Lindsay at the Women's Flag Football Game

Out For Blood

"This isn't Relief Society. You're not trying to coddle the girl - you're trying to kill her."

- Coach Nathan Child to the women's flag football team