Safety is the key

(after talking about how DuPont's safety record for employees extends to the home - if you cut yourself at home it counts against your safety record)
Janessa Cloward: I should not work at DuPont. I would kill their safety record.

Marital exit strategies

Brandon Wells: If you're going to be a trophy wife, you need to sit courtside (at an NBA game), not in the nosebleeds. How are the players going to see you?

Janessa Cloward: I'm not sure that'll work...what about that whole flirt-to-convert thing?

Brandon: If he's in the NBA, you know he'll cheat on you, so just don't get a pre-nup. You'll get a divorce in a year and end up with his money, and then you can marry your good little Mormon boy.

Janessa and Brittany Riggs: I guess that works...

Brandon: It's called an exit strategy, ladies. Welcome to business school.

Choosing your words carefully is a virtue when around the person who runs the Quote Blog

(While walking to the Target party at NBMBAA, after attending another party that had nametags)

Jennia Parkin (referring to Chris's nametag):  What does that red dot mean? Oh i thought it meant virgin...."

Chris DuBois and Janessa Cloward start cracking up.

Jennia:  "Not like that, like virgin drinks!  Oh man, I need to be careful about saying stupid things around you guys!"

From China with love

(Apologies in advance for the self-indulgent nature of the next two posts.  Going on a trip to China with a bunch of students can generate a lot of ridiculous quotes, but instead of spreading them out over multiple posts, I'll condense them to two:  one for Jack Shirts, one for everyone else who went to China.  This is the "everyone else" post)

"Print advice?  Is that like a fortune cookie or something?"
 -Janessa Cloward to the Chinese ATM asking if she wanted a receipt (aka advice)

Elena Samuels:  "You speak Spanish?
Chris DuBois:  "No, but I speak cajones"

"How bout Chinese food for dinner tonight?  Yeah, I could go for some Chinese"
-Everyone after 10 straight days of Chinese food

Kelsey Harris:  "We ordered our first meal without Chinese speakers!"
Chris DuBois:  "Yeah.  At Pizza Hut.  And the menu had pictures.  And we still screwed it up"

"Don't sit on the ground in China.  Don't ask me, why, just don't."
-Dr. Fawcett

"You are all employees of the Kelsey Harris Company"
-Kelsey Harris after the nametags at Google implied we all worked for Kelsey

"I wouldn't bounce in the elevator if I were you.  It says Hitachi, but I'm pretty sure it was made in China."
-Trevor McEwen while riding in the elevator in the hotel in Beijing

Chris DuBois. (to annoying street vendor):  "Bu yao!" (meaning "I don't want it!)
Street vendor:  "Bu yao?  You speak excellent Chinese!"

"Are you a shy boy?!?"
-Suit store lady to all of the men buying suits in Shanghai when asking if we wanted her to hold up a sheet as we tried our suits on.

"Oh forget it shy boy!"  *throws sheet away*
-Suit store lady to James Core after she accidently pinned James's shirt to his pants

Jim Fowler:  "What's sorcery?"
James Core:  "I'm pretty sure that says sourcherry"
-Trying to order a sourcherry sundae at Burger King in Hong Kong

"Don't eat butter for every meal."
-Jim Fowler

"I was put on this earth to eat Caio's jalapenos"
-Chris DuBois after a 10 days of Caio avoiding spicy food

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Jack Shirts: grades and GPAs don't matter anyway, right?

Dallan Huff: the Lord knows what your GPA is, Jack

Janessa Cloward: I don't think the Lord cares what my GPA is

Dallan: if the Lord cares about a sparrow falling, He cares about what your GPA is

Friendly Advice

Brandon Wells: When are you going to the temple?

Janessa Cloward: I need to have a heart-to-heart with my bishop.

Brandon Wells: Sounds like you need to have a heart-to-heart with your Heavenly Father first.

1 Slide = 40 Min.

(Two hours into working on a presentation)

Jennia Parkin: So, how are we doing?

Janessa Cloward: We have three slides...BUT the animation is really cool.

Slackers!

Janessa Cloward: I can't wait to be a second year. They hardly do anything!

Ray Kearney: Embrace your first year...stop doing things now!

This Year's Hot New Christmas Toy: Layoff Elmo

Laying off an entire office before Christmas is just rude.

- Janessa Cloward

Great...Now I'm Hungry

Justin Andersen:  First you have the CPK.  What does CPK mean again?

Janessa Cloward:  California Pizza Kitchen?

Too Much Disney

Janessa: Why in the world are you speaking squirrel?
Jennia: At least I'm not speaking whale!

- Janessa Cloward, Jennia Parkin

Time Value of Money Proves That Women Are Worth More Than Men

Janessa: What do we do if we want to quit our grown up MBA jobs and raise babies?

Malorie: I guess we just put 0 [into the calculation] for some years.

Janessa: Lame. Oh well. We're still worth more than most of the men in this room because we're so much younger.

- Janessa Cloward & Malorie Lewis

Obesity - The New American Dream

MMMM…This website makes me want to be obese!

(referring to www.smittenkitchen.com)

- Janessa Cloward