Shocking Behavior

Rand Blair:  Are you really going to shock somebody though?

Kyle Freebairn:  If that's what it takes.

Natural Credit Enhancement

Professor: What is a credit enhancement, Kyle?

Kyle Freebairn: Um, well, let me tell you.  It's an enhancer that … uh … works on credit.

Teleological or Deontological?

(In ethics class, after Kyle delivered a brilliant ethical insight:)

Professor: Wow! Someone did the reading for today.

 

Kyle: Yes.

Kyle (under his breath): ...uh...ethical dilemma here...

Kyle (out loud): No, I didn't.

Kyle (out loudER): Well, I read half of it, but I usually round up.

Mo' Money

(After a rather lengthy discussion with the waitress regarding the size of the claws on the lobsters in the tank, Kyle asked the waitress at Red Lobster a very important question.)

Kyle Freebairn:  "If you had just won $10,000 in a competition, and you came to Red Lobster to celebrate, what would you order?"

 

Rand Blair: "Let's be clear, Kyle.  You won one-third of $10,000."

 

Kyle: "True.  (to waitress) Still, if you had just won your share of $10,000 in a waitressing competition, what would you order?"

 

Waitress: "That's hard.  There are actually three things I would choose."

 

Rand: "That seems like a lot of food."

 

Kyle: "Hmm....Well, we did win $10,000 -- so just give me all three and I will eat one and we can throw the other two away."

Just For The Taste Of It

Kyle Freebarin: Here's the recipe for Diet Coke - 2 parts vomit and 1 part hobo diarrhea.

Brandon Anderson: Don't forget the carcinogens.

Kyle:  Oh, yeah.  And 3 parts cancer.

Feels Like An Arby's Night

Speaking of Arby's process for slow-roasting beef:

"Yeah and they soak the beef in trash juice as they slow roast it."

- Kyle Freebairn

What Gets Measured Gets Improved

Cromwell: "I  have 3 comments to make..."

(6 minutes later)

Kyle Freebairn: "I actually have 7 comments to make...no, it's really just 4. I wanted to give 3 to Cromwell."


- Kyle Freebairn & Cromwell Wong

He's The Master of Analogies

It's like we're dealing with communication vegetables... what do we do?...ah....we can't communicate!

- Kyle Freebairn

Getting Old

"I just bought a 1998 Buick Park Avenue and increased my effective age 300%."

- Kyle Freebairn, gchat status

Corporate Finance

Adam: "Corporate finance - a room full of underachievers."

Kyle: "Yeah, it's like a root canal every day of your life."

- Adam Larsen & Kyle Freebairn, 9.3.09