Yeah he is...

Context: Talking about dating during undergrad.

Jack Shirts: "Yeah...hello....I'm a player."

Phantom bad hair days are the worst

(Bald) Jack Shirts: "Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel like my hair is messy. And there's nothing I can do about it. So it just feels messy all day."

At least he didn't call you Newman!

Eric Fors: (after listening to Jay Hart and Jack Shirts banter, throws his arms up in the air) I don't believe this, you guys might as well be Jerry and George!

Jay: Who's who?

Jack: Hey! what are saying about my hairline?

It's for the best

Jack Shirts to Tara Hair when talking about going to dance clubs.

Jack:  I'm not allowed to dance in public. I've been told I dance like Bill Cosby and i like cool 80's sweaters. I've said too much already.

Jack Shirts, Sore Loser

(After losing to the 1st years in tug-of-war at the opening social)

Jack Shirts: "Don't ask for a contact from me, folks!"

The best future father in the world award goes to Jack!

Jack Shirts:  I really want my baby, in utero, to appreciate Boyz II Men!

Al is smrt

Al Camargo:  I can't believe I'm planning my schedule for my last semester ever.  I still remember when it first started.

Jack Shirts, Chris DuBois, and Merritt Aho (at the same time):  I would hope so, it was only a year ago!  You're not that old...

Jack Shirts, International Man of Comedy

(Apologies in advance for the self-indulgent nature of the next two posts.  Going on a trip to China with a bunch of students can generate a lot of ridiculous quotes, but instead of spreading them out over multiple posts, I'll condense them to two:  one for Jack Shirts, one for everyone else who went to China.  This is the "Jack Shirts" post) 

"You can call me hot lips if you want"
-Jack to Eric Fors after eating something spicy

Jack:  "That was when I could breathe through my nose"
Eric Fors:  "What, you still have a marshmallow lodged in there?"

Jack:  "I could be one of those acrobat girls on a bicycle!"

Jack:  "I liked Ford's info session the best"
James Core:  "That's because the guy kept swearing."
Jack:  "Kept things interesting though!"

Sister Fawcett:  "You don't want to wait too long--you'll get old, fat, and bald and no one will want to marry you."
Jack:  "HEY!!!"

"Oh Jack...  let's try that again!"
-Elena Samuels to Jack after yet another scary picture

Jack:  "I wish I had a tail."
Kelsey:  "Then you'd have to wear the split bum pants like the little kids."
(Referring to the pants that little kids wear so they can squat on the side of the road...  yeah, it's gross)

"They cut my hair--my one hair"
-Jack after getting his head washed and finding one hair was longer than the rest

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Jack Shirts: grades and GPAs don't matter anyway, right?

Dallan Huff: the Lord knows what your GPA is, Jack

Janessa Cloward: I don't think the Lord cares what my GPA is

Dallan: if the Lord cares about a sparrow falling, He cares about what your GPA is