From China with love

(Apologies in advance for the self-indulgent nature of the next two posts.  Going on a trip to China with a bunch of students can generate a lot of ridiculous quotes, but instead of spreading them out over multiple posts, I'll condense them to two:  one for Jack Shirts, one for everyone else who went to China.  This is the "everyone else" post)

"Print advice?  Is that like a fortune cookie or something?"
 -Janessa Cloward to the Chinese ATM asking if she wanted a receipt (aka advice)

Elena Samuels:  "You speak Spanish?
Chris DuBois:  "No, but I speak cajones"

"How bout Chinese food for dinner tonight?  Yeah, I could go for some Chinese"
-Everyone after 10 straight days of Chinese food

Kelsey Harris:  "We ordered our first meal without Chinese speakers!"
Chris DuBois:  "Yeah.  At Pizza Hut.  And the menu had pictures.  And we still screwed it up"

"Don't sit on the ground in China.  Don't ask me, why, just don't."
-Dr. Fawcett

"You are all employees of the Kelsey Harris Company"
-Kelsey Harris after the nametags at Google implied we all worked for Kelsey

"I wouldn't bounce in the elevator if I were you.  It says Hitachi, but I'm pretty sure it was made in China."
-Trevor McEwen while riding in the elevator in the hotel in Beijing

Chris DuBois. (to annoying street vendor):  "Bu yao!" (meaning "I don't want it!)
Street vendor:  "Bu yao?  You speak excellent Chinese!"

"Are you a shy boy?!?"
-Suit store lady to all of the men buying suits in Shanghai when asking if we wanted her to hold up a sheet as we tried our suits on.

"Oh forget it shy boy!"  *throws sheet away*
-Suit store lady to James Core after she accidently pinned James's shirt to his pants

Jim Fowler:  "What's sorcery?"
James Core:  "I'm pretty sure that says sourcherry"
-Trying to order a sourcherry sundae at Burger King in Hong Kong

"Don't eat butter for every meal."
-Jim Fowler

"I was put on this earth to eat Caio's jalapenos"
-Chris DuBois after a 10 days of Caio avoiding spicy food

Jack Shirts, International Man of Comedy

(Apologies in advance for the self-indulgent nature of the next two posts.  Going on a trip to China with a bunch of students can generate a lot of ridiculous quotes, but instead of spreading them out over multiple posts, I'll condense them to two:  one for Jack Shirts, one for everyone else who went to China.  This is the "Jack Shirts" post) 

"You can call me hot lips if you want"
-Jack to Eric Fors after eating something spicy

Jack:  "That was when I could breathe through my nose"
Eric Fors:  "What, you still have a marshmallow lodged in there?"

Jack:  "I could be one of those acrobat girls on a bicycle!"

Jack:  "I liked Ford's info session the best"
James Core:  "That's because the guy kept swearing."
Jack:  "Kept things interesting though!"

Sister Fawcett:  "You don't want to wait too long--you'll get old, fat, and bald and no one will want to marry you."
Jack:  "HEY!!!"

"Oh Jack...  let's try that again!"
-Elena Samuels to Jack after yet another scary picture

Jack:  "I wish I had a tail."
Kelsey:  "Then you'd have to wear the split bum pants like the little kids."
(Referring to the pants that little kids wear so they can squat on the side of the road...  yeah, it's gross)

"They cut my hair--my one hair"
-Jack after getting his head washed and finding one hair was longer than the rest

Man Bag

"It's not a purse, it's a satchel.  Indiana Jones had one."

"Yah, and so did the little mermaid."

- Kelsey Harris, gchat status