Everyone Was Thinking It, He Just Said It

Everything you need to know about HR you can learn from Dilbert.  That’s where I learned it, anyway.

- Professor

Slick Willy

Professor: "Bill Clinton took credit for the economic recovery the day after he took office.  The truth is that Donald Duck could have been President and the economy still would have recovered."

Matt Kempton: "Donald Duck doesn't wear pants either."

- Professor & Matt Kempton

Coup de Grace

I would entertain a class coup if you really want to have an open book test... 

- Professor

One BILLION Dollars

Brent Walker: "Look, it isn’t even very much… just .8”

Kate Lindsay: “Right, .8 BILLION"

- Brent Walker & Kate Lindsay, discussing the worth of “Coin” on the Fed’s Balance Sheet

Scripture Power

My wife is so good.  She reads scriptures and stuff like that.

- Professor

Let There Be SumIf

When God created the Earth, he opened Excel.

- Oliver Christensen

I'm No Entomologist, But...

I think people are fairly different from cockroaches.

So, do you think that cockroaches care what other cockroaches think about them?

- Jason Merrill

Gut Check

Find the people with the calibrated guts.

- Professor

Horse Soup: Mmm...Mmm...Mmm...Good!

If you were eating soup and you threw in one horse and one rabbit, it would taste more like horse.

- Professor

Pretty Open

Emily: "I feel like we are open all the time."  (In reference to being open to receive the ball during flag football practice).

Erin: "That's because we're the prettiest."

- Erin Page & Emily Tanner

Nice Parameters!

See how sexy these [Excel] parameters are? It makes your heart soar like a hawk.

- Professor

Some Groups Are Too Close

(after looking over Jay Hart's shoulder at his computer):

Jason Stapley: "Jay, are you wearing Original Scent Speed Stick today?"

Jay Hart: "Why yes, Jason, I am!"

- Jason Stapley & Jay Hart

You're Fired!

- Once you've fired three people you've fired 500.

David Moss

Love and Marriage

Matt: “You get to hang out with your wife all day.”

Chris: “Yeah, but that’s not by choice!”

- Matt Kempton & Chris Kellett

Mmm...Pizza

By now you're all probably thinking, I could've gone to my statistics class and fallen asleep. Why did I come here to fall asleep? The answer is, because we have pizza.

- Guest Presenter