Phantom bad hair days are the worst

(Bald) Jack Shirts: "Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel like my hair is messy. And there's nothing I can do about it. So it just feels messy all day."

Where there's smoke...

Professor: We'll have to get Josh's insight into the accounting part of this problem...
Josh Kruse (flustered, then realizing the professor is referring to his TA): Oh.....for a second there I was wondering what you were smoking!

Mid life dental crisis

Professor:  "Yes, I got braces.  Went in for a consult and ended up with braces.  Let's see what you do in your mid-40's."

Permission to tell professors they're wrong!

Professor trying to explain how he's not the ultimate authority:  "Some of you are probably high priests and I'm still an elder. See what I'm saying?"

Serious case of mistaken identity

Professor: Josh, we'll send it to the finance guy for this one.

Josh Kruse: Uh, I'm HR.

Professor: Really?

Brandon Wells: he can give you a hug but that's about it.

The Russian/American/Dutch Dream

Professor:  Everyone deserves an AK-47, a mortgage, and a place to smoke pot

The value of operations

Professor:  what does operations do?
Brandon Wells:  Nothing
Professor:  (didn't hear) What was that?
Brandon Wells:  I mean, besides playing Root Beer games.....

What a nice compliment

Andrea Cordani: Britney (Riggs), you are at least an 8 cow wife

A scary thought

Bradley Linnell:  You gotta love a woman who loves firearms.  You just can't upset her.

A true motto for life

Austin Wilcox: "Seems strong in hind view, but how do you know these things from the start? How do you know you aren't deluding yourself?"
Professor: "There's no tool in the world to stop delusions. There's the old saying, 'you can't fix stupid.'"

Sometimes we lose count after a million

Cannon Hamaker: How many children do you have?

Janice Kirk: I don't know.

Bradley Linnell: Are you a seahorse or something?

Did you know murder was politically correct?

(While discussing a case)

Patrick Nelson: "So if the fisherman-- er, fisher people..."

Professor" "Yeah, let's be sure to be politically correct as possible.  Let's just call them murderers."

Bluntness is honesty

Professor:  I didn't hear what you said but I'm sure it was wrong

(turns out the student was right)

And we're back...

Professor: you international student, what do you think of root beer?

Some MAcc Student : it tastes like medicine, I’d rather drink Nyquil instead.

Today is pile on Ops day apparently

(discussion about whether to take an ops class next semester)

Marshall Weidman: What’s to know about a factory? Stuff comes in and stuff goes out