A Fascinating Science Experiment

While discussing a case, Bradley Linnell went off about his new SWAT team tactic that entails throwing a Box-o-snakes into the house to clear out the people.

To which Elisa Wang responds, “what’s in your brain?  I want to study it!”

Half your age plus seven makes it ok

Christian Ward (in a tennis class):  I was hoping it would be me and all the freshmen.  Wait, did that sound a little creepy?"
Tennis instructor:  yeah, especially since you just told us how old you are

Medication for dummies

Professor: "So, which company is your group going to research?"

Student: "Pfizer."

Professor: "Oh, Pfizer, interesting. . . I'm on about all the medications they make."

The Salary Bubble that will hopefully never pop

Professor: Today the average CEO makes 263 times what the lowest paid employee makes.  That is double what it was in the 90's.  How much longer can these lopsided ratios continue?

Bradley Linnell: Hopefully until we retire.

It's not you James, it's, well, ok, it's you

James Core: "Are you ever slightly offended when you walk into the restroom and the air freshener automatically goes off."

A great policy

Professor to Jeff Butler: So Jeff, do you have life insurance?
Jeff Butler: Yes I do, my wife majored in Chemical engineering.

A True Man's Man

Professor:  "So, I have a Prius. Wait, no I don't. I wouldn't be caught dead in one. I always see them at Ikea. I'd rather drive the young chick car - the Mini Cooper."

The man you wish your man was

Dr. Foster: Amazon employs a CRM system to customize your experience on their webpage.  So let's look at their suggestions for my next purchase.  Ok, there are drills here, I bought my son in laws drills for Christmas, but I've never bought razors from them, odd.

Justin Anderson: Maybe they figure if you are buying drills you're a manly man, that you need to shave.

More toilet humor

(after Rhett Weller sent Hailey George a picture of one of the fancy toilets at Google):

Hayley George: I don't know how I feel about Rhett sending me pictures about toilets.

Don't even want to ask...

David Moss: you know I'm really a fan of laxatives.

Interesting but false

Professor:  I found this data interesting.

David Moss:  Didn't you make up the data?

Professor:  Uh, yeah.

David Moss:  So, you made up interesting data?

Professor:  Yes.  Everything I do is interesting.

Better late than never

Everyone going around in a class sharing their highlight of the week:

Malorie Lewis: I finally put together a resume that I can send out to people.

Kenric Russell: Welcome to the MBA program!

You get what you pay for

Professor:  " I refinished the inside of one my houses a few years ago.  I'm a finish-carpenter.  When I'm done, it's finished, regardless of how it looks... I figure I made $0.25 an hour for my work."

I'm sure Josh could come up with some good nicknames

Professor: When you spend time with someone, you come up with a nickname for them.  It's a sign of love.

Mac Wilson: Josh (Kruse), you will always just be Josh.

Valid excuse to leave school #1

Jay Hart:  Well, I want to go home and hang out with my wife.  My wife is hot.

Tara Hair:  That's true, your wife is hot.