Marital exit strategies

Brandon Wells: If you're going to be a trophy wife, you need to sit courtside (at an NBA game), not in the nosebleeds. How are the players going to see you?

Janessa Cloward: I'm not sure that'll work...what about that whole flirt-to-convert thing?

Brandon: If he's in the NBA, you know he'll cheat on you, so just don't get a pre-nup. You'll get a divorce in a year and end up with his money, and then you can marry your good little Mormon boy.

Janessa and Brittany Riggs: I guess that works...

Brandon: It's called an exit strategy, ladies. Welcome to business school.

Case in point

Justin Andersen (discussing a negotiation):  Wait, is Carly part of the union?
Chris DuBois: Don't worry, Carly's deaf anyway.
Carly (on the other side of the lounge):  What'd you say, I'm dead to you?!?
Justin:  Exactly

It's for the best

Jack Shirts to Tara Hair when talking about going to dance clubs.

Jack:  I'm not allowed to dance in public. I've been told I dance like Bill Cosby and i like cool 80's sweaters. I've said too much already.

Thank goodness it's not!

Professor:  "This is not a striptease!  Go faster!"

That's saying a lot!

(At the GFA Mock interview event)

Dean Graham: "So how'd you do?"

Rhett Weller: "I bombed a mock interview. That's more depressing than the accounting final."

When in Rome...

Brandon Wells:  The Romans gave us the aqueducts and the monogamy..... 2 out-of-date things.

Not a study I want to be involved in

Professor: I’ve been doing studies on the effects o things like passing gas in public, picking your nose…etc

Anonymous Coward: Out of curiosity, how do you study that?

I have nothing on this one...

Brent Taylor (to Shilpa Manjeshwar): You know, if the finance interview doesn’t work out, eBay does have a call center in Sandy

Mark Stoker: Wow Brent, can you say racial profiling?

Great night of sleep, guaranteed!

Professor: Does anybody read the s&p 500 ratings manual?

(silence)

Broc Wilde: yeah, that one’s right on my nightstand

But what language are they in?

Andrea Cordani:  "There are actually a couple of swear words that I really like"

Three guesses what professor said this...

Professor:  "Did I give you a really hard quiz question today?  Yes, I gave you the hardest question known to mankind!"

Hang in there...

Devon Black: "So Steve when do you expect to get rejected by XYZ Company "

Steve Selden: "He said it would take 1-2 weeks to finalize the rejection letter"

Recruiting season can really get you down...

Avoid the Anonymous Coward

Anonymous Coward (via email):  yay for me, I have crabs...........................................next to all my items!

Anonymous coward strikes again

Professor:  "How good do you think my wife felt when I put my first million dollars in the bank and paid off my mortgage?"

Anonymous Coward:  "Better than my wife"

No Doubt About It

Josh Kruse:  "I get the feeling that other people think a lot more than I do"