It's not you James, it's, well, ok, it's you

James Core: "Are you ever slightly offended when you walk into the restroom and the air freshener automatically goes off."

A great policy

Professor to Jeff Butler: So Jeff, do you have life insurance?
Jeff Butler: Yes I do, my wife majored in Chemical engineering.

A True Man's Man

Professor:  "So, I have a Prius. Wait, no I don't. I wouldn't be caught dead in one. I always see them at Ikea. I'd rather drive the young chick car - the Mini Cooper."

The man you wish your man was

Dr. Foster: Amazon employs a CRM system to customize your experience on their webpage.  So let's look at their suggestions for my next purchase.  Ok, there are drills here, I bought my son in laws drills for Christmas, but I've never bought razors from them, odd.

Justin Anderson: Maybe they figure if you are buying drills you're a manly man, that you need to shave.

More toilet humor

(after Rhett Weller sent Hailey George a picture of one of the fancy toilets at Google):

Hayley George: I don't know how I feel about Rhett sending me pictures about toilets.

Don't even want to ask...

David Moss: you know I'm really a fan of laxatives.

Interesting but false

Professor:  I found this data interesting.

David Moss:  Didn't you make up the data?

Professor:  Uh, yeah.

David Moss:  So, you made up interesting data?

Professor:  Yes.  Everything I do is interesting.

Better late than never

Everyone going around in a class sharing their highlight of the week:

Malorie Lewis: I finally put together a resume that I can send out to people.

Kenric Russell: Welcome to the MBA program!

You get what you pay for

Professor:  " I refinished the inside of one my houses a few years ago.  I'm a finish-carpenter.  When I'm done, it's finished, regardless of how it looks... I figure I made $0.25 an hour for my work."

I'm sure Josh could come up with some good nicknames

Professor: When you spend time with someone, you come up with a nickname for them.  It's a sign of love.

Mac Wilson: Josh (Kruse), you will always just be Josh.

Valid excuse to leave school #1

Jay Hart:  Well, I want to go home and hang out with my wife.  My wife is hot.

Tara Hair:  That's true, your wife is hot.

Great fan support

Brian Dennison: I knew we were going to win when I spotted two apostles in the stands.

These days it can be tough to tell

Professor:  (referring to some dispute over an actor/actress in a Harley Davidson commercial): "Matt may be right. We may be dealing with a gender bender here."

Phantom bad hair days are the worst

(Bald) Jack Shirts: "Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel like my hair is messy. And there's nothing I can do about it. So it just feels messy all day."

Where there's smoke...

Professor: We'll have to get Josh's insight into the accounting part of this problem...
Josh Kruse (flustered, then realizing the professor is referring to his TA): Oh.....for a second there I was wondering what you were smoking!