Church Ball: The Anti-Missionary Activity

Professor:  "I've had a few technical fouls in my day...  in church ball.  I joined the church in spite of church ball.  You'd think most of my technicals were for swearing, but they were really just for sarcasm.  I know, you'd never think that.  I did grab a ref once.  Anyway, let's begin!"

Safety is the key

(after talking about how DuPont's safety record for employees extends to the home - if you cut yourself at home it counts against your safety record)
Janessa Cloward: I should not work at DuPont. I would kill their safety record.

Signs of Burnout

Tara Hair:  I can't sleep because I'm stressed.
Chris DuBois:  Is there anything I can do to help?
Tara:  I just need drugs...  I just need drugs...  I just need drugs...
Chris:  ...I'll see what I can do

Long Term Planning

(While discussing retirement planning)

Professor: "I make sure my kids know that I am spending their inheritance; I want to make sure they are sad when I die."

Gender Confusion

Overheard on the loud speaker at the Rex Lee Run after placing in the top 3 of some female category: “Dustin Schick is actually a man.”

Just gross

Andrea Cordani: Do you have a thermometer?
Ray Kearney: Yeah, if I can find it..
A: It isn't a rectal thermometer, is it?
R: Only once...

1 minute of laughter

R: Sorry, I couldn't resist it
A: What? The joke or the thermometer?

Brandon Davies got in trouble for less...

From an email chain regarding a "Guy's Night Out": 

"Eaton

If I can ditch my illegitimate kids for months at a time, what's one night ditching yours!?  Now man-up and do some work! 

Adam (Eshenroder)"

The best idea ever... or a big scam

(Lewis Gunter speaks for a few minutes about a BPC team, and is interrupted...)
Rhett Weller: "Wait, did you just compare their business plan to cold fusion?"

A Fascinating Science Experiment

While discussing a case, Bradley Linnell went off about his new SWAT team tactic that entails throwing a Box-o-snakes into the house to clear out the people.

To which Elisa Wang responds, “what’s in your brain?  I want to study it!”

Half your age plus seven makes it ok

Christian Ward (in a tennis class):  I was hoping it would be me and all the freshmen.  Wait, did that sound a little creepy?"
Tennis instructor:  yeah, especially since you just told us how old you are

Medication for dummies

Professor: "So, which company is your group going to research?"

Student: "Pfizer."

Professor: "Oh, Pfizer, interesting. . . I'm on about all the medications they make."

The Salary Bubble that will hopefully never pop

Professor: Today the average CEO makes 263 times what the lowest paid employee makes.  That is double what it was in the 90's.  How much longer can these lopsided ratios continue?

Bradley Linnell: Hopefully until we retire.

It's not you James, it's, well, ok, it's you

James Core: "Are you ever slightly offended when you walk into the restroom and the air freshener automatically goes off."

A great policy

Professor to Jeff Butler: So Jeff, do you have life insurance?
Jeff Butler: Yes I do, my wife majored in Chemical engineering.

A True Man's Man

Professor:  "So, I have a Prius. Wait, no I don't. I wouldn't be caught dead in one. I always see them at Ikea. I'd rather drive the young chick car - the Mini Cooper."