Jack Shirts, International Man of Comedy

(Apologies in advance for the self-indulgent nature of the next two posts.  Going on a trip to China with a bunch of students can generate a lot of ridiculous quotes, but instead of spreading them out over multiple posts, I'll condense them to two:  one for Jack Shirts, one for everyone else who went to China.  This is the "Jack Shirts" post) 

"You can call me hot lips if you want"
-Jack to Eric Fors after eating something spicy

Jack:  "That was when I could breathe through my nose"
Eric Fors:  "What, you still have a marshmallow lodged in there?"

Jack:  "I could be one of those acrobat girls on a bicycle!"

Jack:  "I liked Ford's info session the best"
James Core:  "That's because the guy kept swearing."
Jack:  "Kept things interesting though!"

Sister Fawcett:  "You don't want to wait too long--you'll get old, fat, and bald and no one will want to marry you."
Jack:  "HEY!!!"

"Oh Jack...  let's try that again!"
-Elena Samuels to Jack after yet another scary picture

Jack:  "I wish I had a tail."
Kelsey:  "Then you'd have to wear the split bum pants like the little kids."
(Referring to the pants that little kids wear so they can squat on the side of the road...  yeah, it's gross)

"They cut my hair--my one hair"
-Jack after getting his head washed and finding one hair was longer than the rest